tuxedomck

Todays therapy session was REALLY good. I got so much accomplished. I basically read my journal entry from wednesday to Joanna and also more information/thoughts associated with my last entry that I...

Right now i am truly upset because it hurts to hear the truth. Even though I'm not happy with someones personal achievements if it means they are better than me, I still pretend to be happy for...

I HATE myself. I HATE my life. I FUCKING WANT TO QUIT LIFE. I am getting pretty fucking close to it.

Sleepy when I awakened this morning. Beautiful day filled with many plans. Received a lovely card from Frankie- I think we might be the same person. Someday I will meet her. I have really failed at...

After writing all that I did this morning regarding yesterday, I came to the conclusion that today is a new day and that I CAN make it through til Wednesday. I have planned out everyday as to how I...

Part I:I know it's only Friday afternoon, but I am already worrying about many things. I am so shaky and feel sick to my stomach. It seems like nerves, but nerves of what? I am very upset...

Scared. Terrified. Nervous.I know this is early, but I have been freaking out regarding what I am going to do when Joanna takes her week long vacation in July. I am also going on a cruise in July. I...

Had a long session with Joanna today. Obviously I knew what was coming...She said that because I just don't care about myself or anything anymore, that she nor Jill can help me. I balled.Then I...

I don't care about myself anymore. All I care about is food obsessions and losing weight which I am clearly failing at.I mean I know everything I need to do to get healthy, I just don't want to do...

Shitty morning again. Woke up and weighed myself...gained 2lbs since Sunday. WTF?! I have gone back in my food journal and I have just been snacking during the day, not that much though. Though it's...

Last night we had to go to my parent's house for dinner. It wasn't as bad as I expected. We had dinner (way too much..felt like crap afterwards) then made s'mores. I had two roasted marshmallows and...

Thursday through last night were HORRIBLE. Depression, pain, misery, and every synonym of those words describe the past few days perfectly. Thursday night was the worst. I cut a lot, I purged, I...

I want to go home. My sister spent forever in the car talking about how she wears a size 2 or 3 now. How her friend asked to borrow clothes and they were too small on her. WTF. I just want to hide...

Something I sent Joanna (my T) on Monday after our Therapy Session. This Wednesday she is out and Thursday I leave for a race with my team...so it's going to be one week between our sessions...it's...

I can feel myself going down. I could feel it slowly happening over the day. Went to the racecourse at 6am to watch the Varsity race at their States (my novices' had theirs last weekend). It was...