You said it all I love this man and he is lucky the rest will work out

I am 34 years old and my husband is 54. we have only been married for 6 months, but we have been togther for 6 years. Since we got married, we've only had sex 2-3 times and its been months now. He's diabetic and suffers from ED on occasion, but not always. His dr has given him meds, but he refuses to take them. When I initiate sex, he always refuses saying he's tired or doesn't feel well. He gets mad if i even touch him. I've tried to be supportive of his medical problems. But I don't feel like this is fair to me. And he doesn't seem to care. I feel so alone and embarrassed- like i'm the one with the problem. I now sleep in a separate bed and i have all but given up. I don't want to end our marriage because of this, because I love him dearly. I just feel as though he doesn't love me. Help?

Will he talk with a third party? It is so difficult for the man just keep talking and seek help with him he is so fortunate to have you.

I have thought about counseling. But I feel like this is so private, and embarrassing. I feel as though no one understands my point of view. And I feel as though I'm being selfish. Am i wrong to feel this way?

Do you know any third party that have the respect of both of you? You are trying for more than ed help .....how's the stress and health otherwise? For me I quit for a year then started again not perfect still we try and have 50% win better than none

sstoney - I think the only thing you're "wrong" about is thinking that you're feelings are "wrong" or that you're somehow selfish.

To prove that your feelings are very natural and common (to say the least!), just look at how many women have responded to this post. And how frustrated and unhappy so many of those women are. It's clear that your feelings are both natural and very common.

Impotence and ED are very common. Doctors and therapists are familiar with it and its effects on relationships. What you do is up to you. I hope you don't let your fears stop you from doing what will help you. Heck, why not try anything you can that may help you?

Thanks for the advice. I'm willing to try just about anything. I truly love my husband and I only want him. But i don't think he is willing to try. That's the problem. He acts as though he doesn't care.

Try Regenerect, a dietary supplement that contains all natural and herbal ingredients. It has been shown to help people achieve reliable and sustainable erections, increase in sex drive and stamina. Email me at regenecatexas@yahoo.com for a sample. We have received amazing feedback from the product and I hope it will help you out in your romance life.

Hi sstoney,

OK, I understand he acts like he doesn't care. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's acting like that because he doesn't want to face and deal with the reality of the situation.

Does he understand how serious this matter is to you? If he does and is not willing to do anything about it, you can't do it for him. If that's the case, you'd likely be in a situation in which you'd need to decide whether you are willing to settle for a relationship without sex. Since that's a totally individual matter, I won't give you any advice on that. You're the only one who would know what you will be satisfied choosing... regardless of whatever anyone else tells or advises you.

If you want to communicate through the messages on this site, feel free to send me a message.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have had sex less than 10 times in the whole 6 years we've been together. The last time we had sex was Christmas Eve of 2010 and then it was only for me. He has gone to an Urologist and the second round of meds and samples have sat in his nightstand drawer for over 3 weeks now. He blames me for not getting intimate, like I was angry earlier that day or I had been acting tired, but without intimacy, there's hardly a marriage because he is so hateful all of the time. He has moved to working third shift at work so he won't have to be home in bed with me at night. I have begged and pleaded with him to just be close with me, regardless of whether or not we have sex and he won't. I'm all alone without anywhere to turn for help because I have tried everything: pushing him to the doctor, then to the Urologist, encouraging him to take the meds, to relax, to just lie back and let me touch him without pressure to perform. I've ignored the problem and not made a big deal out of it, but still I get nothing. He will not get counseling and my friends are encouraging me to have an affair.
I am lost.

Wow you are great! would he allow a third party? does he understand how serious this is...I take it ED is not an issue for me relationship without sex is what it is. Having outside sex is dangerous but this is only your choice he needs to be informed how difficult this is for you ask him for a solution

By a third party I met clergy Dr or thrapist

Tn Paula, I know exactly how you feel! My husband actually gets mad at me for trying to touch him or just get close. He doesn't even want me to kiss him anymore. I am 34 and I am so frustrated. He has gotten meds from his dr, but he won't take them. I have thought about an affair, too. But I do kove my husband and I don't want to lose him. I think we just have to decide if we are willing to live without intimacy or not. For, me I am for now, but God knows, I don't want to be 80 and look back on my marriage and have regrets. My only other advice is to gey a BOB. (battery operated boyfriend.) I know it's not the real thing, but...it's better than having an affair. And SAFER!!!

hi dear,

stop taking tension and switch to buy levitra surely your husband and you too fell relief from this problem and start enjoying your life.

this pill doesn't have any side effect and easily available in the market too.

I feel somehow inadequate complaining about my petty issues here when I see that so many have worse problems than ours. We have been married for 23 years and have had fantastic sex up until about two years ago. Hubby is getting older and is also on meds for the last six years for heart, high blood pressure, blood thinners. We are able to have intercourse, but he loses erection strength about halfway into it. After many years of mind blowing sex, these last two have been mediocre at best. It doesn't help that I feel like when I bring it up, it's another blow to his ego and that just makes things worse. He is on Levitra and is able to get erections with porn and with "other" activities that we participate in (I am bisexual and occasionally engage in threesomes with him) but it's just been the last two years that "just us" just doesn't seem like enough. I've tried to just be supportive and available and we wouldn't have been married for 23 years if the communication wasn't there, but I just feel inadequate and my ego gets blown every time he touches me and not even the teeniest of reaction from his penis. I, like a others on this thread, need the sexual intercourse. I don't mind toys, etc, but I'm going to be downright raunchy and say sometimes you just need the "high hard one". I feel like a whiner and insensitive when I even think about complaining, but after so many years of being what turns him on, it's frustrating to feel like second best.