I am so sorry to hear that others are feeling the heartbreak I have felt for the past nearly nine years. I know how easy it is to blame yourself, after all the media assures us that the way the woman looks is all that matters to a man. I heard over and over that as a "fat" girl I would have no one. So three stupid relationships later I found the man they said I would not. I was a single mom of 37 with lots of emotional baggage, he was 51 and my knight in shining armor. I keep telling myself that three happy, happy years should be enough. But. it is so hard to go day in and day out where he treats me like a sister! My brain can accept him telling me it is the medicine, (he has HBP and diabetes and CHF). I don't expect full on sex. I just don't know why that means there can be nothing. No hugs, kisses, flirting, long talk , cuddling. Nothing, I mean nothing that we used to have. If I mention I need something, anything, I am 50, not 90. He just pouts and says "I know it's not fair to you either, I don't know why I don't hug or kiss you." Then he adds the finishing touch so he knows the discussion wont come up soon, "I guess I'm just worthless."

Oh yeah the pity party as usual
My hubby & Ive been dealing with this for over 5 yrs He is 59 will be 60 in Sept I just turned 45
He alos has HBP/diabetic those meds can as u know affect libido BUt Im gonna post this here cuz u cant go thru 7 read the last 40 days of posts
We had his testosterone checked...its that of a 12 yr old boys When he takes the shots 2x's a mth we r good he is like a new man Y Im on here is his priorty isnt spending $$ on that its other stuff
Anyway he must get it chkd Believe me if he is over 50 or even or even over 30 MUST GET IT CHECKED
DONT let him turn this shit around on u..thats bs
How long have u guys been together?
Me & mine 20 yrs

I'm new to the group. I'm not a wife, but I am nearly at my wit's end due to dealing with my boyfriend's erectile difficulties for the entirety of the 3 years we've been dating. We have had sexual intercourse twice during that entire 3 years. He loves receiving oral stimulation and loves to have me use my hands on him, and he has no problem getting or staying hard during those activities, but if my vagina is involved, he becomes extremely anxious and simply cannot perform. If I try to discuss it with him, he becomes so frantic and upset with himself that I am forced to back down.

I'm starting to feel so angry and resentful. This experience has shattered my confidence in my attractiveness, and I'm only 24 years old (boyfriend is 35). I love this man and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I feel like I'm too young to give up on vaginal intercourse forever. I try everything I can to get him interested in giving it a shot (I dress up in lingerie and fetish outfits, fulfill his kinks, etc) and still he pretends that intercourse doesn't exist. I can't help but feel like it's my fault for not being attractive enough, since obviously there is nothing physically amiss. Worst of all, I have no one I can discuss it with, and no outlet for my frustration and hurt. I was very glad to find this support group and to hear that other women are going through the same kind of heartbreak.

Oh my God, lise05... this is one of the saddest situations I have ever read here! :'(

Just reading your post and remembering the efforts of other women in this group makes me wonder...

WTF!!! Sexy lingerie??? Fetish outfits??? Kinky sex??? Naughty coupons??? Open offers for intercourse at any time???

Women in this group... our self-esteem is suffering so much, we feel so unattractive and insecure... do you imagine what a normal guy would do for a tiny fraction of what we do for our partners???

We are true sex goddesses. Just an empowering thought. WE ARE NOT THE PROBLEM!!!

Also, I forgot to post a link to an article I found recently. Feel free to post your thoughts about it:
http://www.psychologylounge.com/2011/02/04/not-tonight-dear-why-couples-stop-having-sex-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/

I am in my sixties and kind of have ED. We have good foreplay but the IC act doesn't always complete properly. I know this is primarily what she wants from me and she accepts my efforts graciously. I don't like taking drugs and am very fit for my age. I have toyed with a silicone ring and it helped a little. I can get an erection through her hand job but it doesn't maintain through IC. We have a foreplay practice that sends me into ecstasy where I have to be careful not to climax for her sake. IC I mean. I am thinking of trying a dildo but am horrified to talk about that to her as she doesn't like anything false. My next idea is to try two silicone rings one on top of the other to give support. I am a very sexual person but my body doesn't always co-operate.

I need to ask, what is IC?

I had no. Luck with siliicone rings I use the osbon and double it stays hard forever Tom

By doubling it, what exactly do you mean? Hubby and i are getting ready to purchase some of the osbon rings. I've heard the term, doubling b4, but not exactly sure what the procedure is.

Do you put one ring over the one that is already on? Do you put it slightly above the one at the base? Help!! lol

Yes slightly above not on top of each other..I use the pink rings and I stay hard until I take the rings off

Thank you for your comments. Two rings slightly apart. That might help me. Never heard of obson. Will look into that. I think this is better than all those drugs and the side effects they can have.

SW IC stands for Intercourse.

Not apart side by side and the name is osbon...taam try Google those 2 if not let me know have no fear you guys will be ii great shape. Believe me I have tried everything and now twice a week forever. I really admire you that's what we ed guys need thanks Tom

Thanks Tom. I did realise it was osbon in the end. However this just seems to be a pump to get an erection. My problem is that I can get an erection manually but lose it along the way when we come to IC. I know that is what she wants more than anything. If the osbon is just to get an erection that may not be enough. I prefer her HJ to a pump. I know it has a ring but one can get those anywhere. Your first idea about two rings might be an answer. I generally wake up with an erection but where is it when we are having sex?

Tony it stays on. Until you climax or until you decide to finish using those rings keeps it hard..I avoid hj and bj while I'm in the process of doing ic as it doesn't help and will take away my desire for ic but of course that's me. It works Tom

What do you mean Tom? Do you mean the pump stays on or the erection? Can you explain a little more. Does one's wife get involved in the pump? This is all new to me.

If one relies on the ring to keep the erection I can't see how this is guaranteed. This is all very interesting in spite of the adjustment I cn see it would entail. Thanks for your help.