What I find so disturbing about this so called ED is they seem to have ED when it comes to their partners, but put them with a younger female young enough to be their daughter or grand child and all of a sudden their ED disappears. I have heard and read numerous men who say when they went with a much younger female their penis was as hard as chinese aritimatic. This is what I find hurtful and angers me. Most of these men feel that once a woman hits 40 or more, she is no longer desireable. That pisses me off because look at how old they are. May what they measure out to women their own age be measured out to them. If anyone can understand where I'm coming from please send me a message.

Things in the bedroom were fine before we got married, but the closer we got to the big day the excuses starting coming -- "I'm tired, I'm stressed, I have a lot on my mind with work" --- all legit at the time, but 6 years on I see now that I was duped. Come to find out in a sex therapy session, he's suffered from ED since his teens (he's 45 now) -- it sure would've been nice to be informed of this before saying I do. I feel a bit like I've been given a life sentence.

The first few years the infrequent times we would be intimate, he'd ruin the moment by making excuses for his preejaculation or blame me, saying I shouldn't have moved like this or that. Every single time - not that there would be many - afterward he'd start with the, 'must be out of practice" "wow! didn't see that one coming" -- like his problem was a big surprise or something. Eventually, the infrequent times became even more infrequent. I think that was mainly due to the fact that I could no longer take the rejection when approaching him romantically. It's one thing to have lousy sex, it's another to be rejected...at least with lousy sex there's some level of intamacy between two people. Being continuely rejected has rocked me to the core of my being. I don''t feel like a woman any more. I feel so isolated by this because there is no one I can talk to about this...because technically it's not 'my' problem -- I'm just affected by 'his' problem.

When we were seeing the sex therapist, he suggested several things to try within the marriage - put a no sex ban in place, then slowly work your way toward being arroused, after weeks, allow touching, etc..text book stuff...even then he'd make excuses "not tonight" -- even after we were to write it in our diary as a "to do" on a list of things...make time for each other...on a to do list.!!!... he couldn't even do that. He could make time to watch a football match with his friends but he couldn't make time to lay in bed next to me and simply hold my hand and talk to me.... it's really too painful to bear at times. And things like longing and desire no longer excite me, rather, it chokes me with tears, knowing I'll have to spend the rest of my life unquenched and untouched by a man, my husband. For better or for worse...and this is pretty damn bad...

My husbands ED seems to be linked to clinical depression. He is struggling to admit this, even as it continues to worsen. The depression is also causing him to doubt my love for him and he has turned obsessive in looking for reasons to not trust me. I hesitant to even post this as he will probably see it and it will cause I fight. I don;t know where to go or what to do. He says he is aware that he needs help to get out of the rut he is in, but yet he cannot tell me when he is going to act. I know this is hard for him but I am honestly terrified right now as to what is going to happen. He says the only thing keeping him going is the kids. What is one day that isn't enough. What then? I love him desperately, I always have, I always will, but enough is enough. It is hard to know that he is struggling but I don't know what to do that doesn't also enable his avoidance of the problem.

My best to you hang in there be a shining star

My wife and I have been married for 6 years.Over the last year we have not had sex because I could not get a erection. We have been close by a lot of snuggling and oral sex. I think it has been hard on me as it has for her. The good thing is she can have a orgasm by giving me oral even though I could not get hard. We have learned a lot about ourselves. mostly that there is a lot of ways to show love besides sex.This problem has made me feel less than a man. For Christmas I got myself a penial implant,which is just a little pump, which you can not see. It has been nice,I can stay hard as long as she wants.It did not change are love for each other.It has made us feel better about ourselfs.

my husband gets an erection so he could do the deed but i know for sure that he does not ejaculate,we live on a province and were Asians,we need to keep this to ourselves in order to keep his Macho image,so we really do not have access to a therapist..i want to have an active sex life..any advices?

I too have this problem..must continue to ejaculate no short sessions will work no porn no stress and little oral I am about 80% and it gets better we have intercourse twice a week

I takes me longer to ejaculate the key is to continue until you do

Wow! These are sad stories. When my husband of 15 years started having "problems" he immediately came to me and discussed it. Although it took him a while to get up the nerve to go to the Dr. he finally did and was prescribed Cialis. Our insurance will pay for up to 5 pills a month, although I have only had it filled once and that was when he initially got the prescription in November, 2010. I have a friend who works for a clinic and brings me samples of Cialis and Viagra all the time, so I haven't needed to buy any more. (We took the chance and tried them on our own for a couple of months before he got a prescription.)

Long story short.....after 6 months of being on the meds, our sex life is better than ever. He never ignored the problem, never had an attitude about it. His main concern, as always, has been my pleasure.

We have sex on average 3 times a week...which is usually a 2-3 hour endeavor....depending on "how many rounds in the playoffs" (hubby's statement) that we go!!

Thank God for for this understanding and caring man I married. I am so glad when he felt he had a problem he immediately came to me expressing his concerns and was on board with whatever I thought he needed to do to make it right! I'm a lucky girl!!!

Kiki2u3- That is terrific! I'm surprised you had enough energy left to post your message. :)

Lol @ Hank! I do get a break every once in a while!! But not tonight...I hear hubby getting out of the shower now....so I gotta go!! :D

Well things at home has gotten worse, I now sleep in a seperate bedroom. I don't know how I feel I have kept myself void of feelings to deal with my situation, I have mentally removed myself I guess as a survival strategy. Well bing36 at least your husband gets an erection, my own always have an excuse I have 10 yrs of excuses I have reached a point that I don't want to hear it anymore

my bf is 9 years older and it feels like a 20 year old marriage and its only been a year and a half. we try some toys and now its like too much. why cant i have the excitement of seeing me and the compliments. heck i try so hard with his ed but how come he cant try hard back. using the word hard seems wrong to use..sorry.. just some ed humor. dont think this is what i signed on for and yet i can be fulfilled with him and ed but not without the rest.

Keep trying

I am recently married.. and did not find out about the ed until a week after the wedding. I feel betrayed and decieved but I love this man.. He can take a pill but I can't help to feel like less of a woman or like he is not the same in my eyes.. devastated.