Thanks for writing back you guys! I am certain it is medicines now. We started some marital counseling today. He is afraid to try a new mood stabilizer and it is incredibly unfair for me. I am hurt and feel poorly about myself. I have NOBODY to talk to except you guys. He doesn't want me discussing it with any girlfriends etc. I don't blame him but I can't stress enough how badly I feel. I don't understand what has happenend to our relationship, it is completely different now. Everything feels very forced and broken down. I am so sad and just I dunno the words, I am feeling a great sense of loss.

Thanks you guys. If anybody feels they have more to offer me. Please do. I appreciate all you guys are saying. All of it helps, every little bit. I hate feeling like I am on an island, all alone. My hubby is a totally different man to me right now. I am almost angry that he was told about his "un-normal" testosterone levels, like it is psychological now, completely. ugh... grrr.... whine and cry.... lolo
crap!

Personally I ignore testorone levels. Don't they go up and down according to other things? I don't believe in pills personally.

Basically you have your love for each other and can work from there. Love always finds a way, even sexual satisfaction if one is imaginative enough.

Basically as I said attitude is everything. If one can take pills in good faith. Fair enough. If they are taken with some kind of desperation I don't think they will work.

I use one ring now. Some kind of rubbery thing. It seems to work and my wife is satisfied. Kegal excercises help a lot. I wake up with an erection kost mornings. If I don't it may mean I am under stress. I don't know why the erection doesn't hold as hard when having sex in the evenings but I am getting older. She is too and doesn't require big deep thrusts, so we match each other. She likes it more gentle these days. I ask her to do other things as I need more than IC only to really get aroused.

If the ED gets really bad one can use two rings slighty apart. One is enough just now.

As you said about porn it does reduce one's sexual desire for one's wife and can lead to ED. It is cheating and no wonder it messes up the sexual relationship. If he has a problem there it needs to be confronted.

I wrote a little while ago about my partner having ED. I just wanted to update the discussion just in case others might find it useful. We have been taking Cialis 2.5mg for 2weeks and it has made a great difference to the problem. For the first 6 days he was still not confident that it was working cos we were struggling with maintaining erections. However, now we don't have a problem. With stimulation he is getting hard every time and sex is no longer a problem. We are able to maintain an erection for a decent length of time and alternate between various positions. This proved a problem before because to Chang position would mean goin soft and not being ble to get erect again. I don't know how long the Cialis will continue to work or if we can afford it long term cos it's a big financial commitment each month, but well worth it at the moment.

Currently Cialis 2.5mg or 5mg runs for $5 per pill so if you decide to take it daily for 30 days that is about $150 per month. So if you can afford $150 a month this is a great solution to the ED issue. I do this myself. I also plan to start taking it every other day.

Myron,

In some places $5 is a bargain i have seen 10 or even $15 a pill being reported ... Oh and if one was to need only 5 or 10mg then by all means buy the 20mg and cut them up as needed since the cost is almost the same no matter what the dose.

On the sunny side of life though, you just cannot beat buying your ED meds (or any other common meds for that matter) from India. You can easily get any of the big 3 for under a dollar a pill (full dose ). I would buy a few hundred at a time so that the high fixed shipping cost would be a smaller factor. Yeah you have to be careful with credit cards sometimes but I never had an issue -- and they do even take bank money orders if you don't mind a few extra days to get it there by mail.

J

My bf is diabetic and has been dealing with Ed all his life. He has taken cialis in the past with other partners and it has worked for him. He won't buy it now with me though because he says it's too expensive and he doesn't want to "buy happiness." he considers Ed part of who he is and wants to be accepted and loved regardless, and if sex happens great, but he doesn't find it at all necessary. Well that's not ok with me. He is so great in every other way but this issue really bothers me because of course I want a sexual intimate relationship with the man I deeply love. He says in time things can improve and I just have to be patient. But we're talking about marriage and I told him if this never changes I won't be totally happy. I can't imagine being without him but it hurts being with him and not having that part of the relationship. I don't know what to do :(

He is not masturbating or watching porn. He says sex simply isn't important to him and it's just how/who he is. He has a long past of women cheating in him and leaving him and I don't want to do that to him. I know there's a lo of pain wrapped up in the whole thing. But I just need to know it WILL get better and he will get his rx refilled at some point. We're talking the rest of our lives, and I'm not ready to have a sexless relationship at age 30 :/

Can someone give me recommendations on pumps please?

I started with the manual pumps the rings are critical and may need 2 I've used many different brands I found Osborn the best and a battery operated system of any quality brand....the rings are critical to keep the erectionn

I had this issue. It was not my husband but my boyfriend. it lasted for 4 years, and eventually I began to get lonely. I went out and found a sexual partner. My relationship ended, and I felt something, however I was not willing to continue in a relationship with no sex.

I had sexual desires, and I believe the relationship was over prior to his sexual dysfunction.
thanks for the post.

When the vacumn device won't hold it is the rings..I have always had success with Osborn and their strongest rings of course no porn or masturbation..now even better success with daily cialis. The motivation has to be there or nothing seems to work. Perhaps you could reintroduce the idea and try again. You are super and I applause all that you do

hi connecicut

I admire you so much for having the strength to leave an unfulfilling relationship without sex. I'm in a 3 year relationship like that

How did you get through the hurt? My head tells me it's time to give up the struggle but my heart is scared of the pain. Did you find someone new first?

My wife and I have pretty much tried everything, testosterone, Viagra (and the other pills), the vacuum pump, etc. I even bought a big mechanical hand held F-ing machine. I have gone to a urologist, and have been tested a bunch of times for various problems. We are exercising 5 days a week for an hour trying to lose weight and get in shape, all to no avail. She says she doesn't care about penetration and we can do fine with masturbation but I think she is lying her rear off.

For the women here, just how important is having actual IC when having sex? I know for me, all masturbation does is take the edge off, but it is nowhere near as satisfying as actual penetration. I read some of the posts here and apparently many of you are fed up with not being penetrated.

I have started to slowly been dropping hints to my wife about some of the various clubs here we might go to. There are several swingers type and Hedonistic clubs here that if nothing else she can have real sex at. She says "No you are my husband so I won't do that." She says it kind of in the tone of "You are my cross to bear and I am stuck with you so I will suffer in silence and make do."

Also have any of you found ways to have fulfilling sex without penetration? We have and have tried a ton of vibrators, dildos, rubber penis's, strap on, the big mechanical F-ing machine (looks like a big SawzAll with a dildo on the end), bondage, S&M, etc. While it's fun, all that just isn't that satisfying. I need suggestions.

If you have the correct rings and matching pump you'll get penetration...I think the the rings are a big issue. For the only rings that will hold me are 2 of the pink rings by Osborn. I too have loads of equipment most of the rings are not strong enough but those pink rings will hold and of course I take the pills cialis daily I had ic 3 times this week wish you well try those rings have seen on ebay

I think if your wife is happy to try other things you should go down that route and not make such an issue out of it. I think you are pressurising yourself uneccessarily. That in itself can produce ED.

I am shocked that you are suggesting for your wife to have sex with other couples. Sex is part of the marital relationship to divert this outside of marriage will lead to devastation in your marriage. Your wife knows this and I would respect that. You are fortunate that she is faithful and didn't agree to go down that route.

Maybe the Osborne rings will help. I don't know. They are expensive. Personally I don't see the big advantage from other rings but I suppose there may be one. One has to be careful even of that and not keep them on too long because of trapping the blood for too long..

I have ED issues but my wife knows how to lay on top of me and grind whether I have an erection or not. She does orgasm but she wants to not give up the other normal IC. This I do with plenty of lube but having her on top is a great rest as I know she will get there and I don't have to worry about ED.