Penile implants are permanent and most people are not happy after they have had one. Plus they are very expensive. You should try a Vacuum Pump. They are mostly covered by insurance or you can get an over the counter one. Pos-T-Vac is where I got mine from and it has a lifetime warranty and is FDA approved..

I have type 2 as well and it may be the diabetes that is causing the ED, not the medication. With the pump he can last safely up to 30 minutes. Let us know what you guys do!

I have been with a wonderful man for a year now. We are engaged, but to be perfectly frank, I'm not certain I can actually go through with the wedding. His ED problems started before we even began dating and he was in denial about them for at least a year, finally admitting it about 6 months ago (he would always have an excuse for why he didn't want to have sex). I think that he still masturbates, though he says that he's never ever ever actually "in the mood" or "horny."

I feel utterly rejected and completely alone and this whole no sex thing is just killing me. And really, it's not even about the sex, per se, it's about the fact that we've lost the passion, the intimacy, the romance of it all. I just don't know how to deal with this at all and I really can't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone who I can't share with like that.

can you offer more time together at a movie quiet dinner...perhaps it is simply confidence would he oppose you taking the lead?

You know, I had this problem, but I have gotten over it.
Reading the posts in this thread reminds me of how I felt, and boy am I glad I don't feel that way anymore.

I don't know what changed...or why I got over it. I wish I could tell you all how it happened. BUt it's like I just accepted it. He has a problem. It's his. And his alone.
If he were sick, would I give up on him?
No.
I would stay healthy so as to be there for him.

we don't have sex that much, so I just look forward to when it will happen again, and embrace it whole heartedly when it does, no matter how great it is.
woops

I'm gay and in a long term relationship. Being impotent since a child and having to use an injection to gain an erection it does damper things alot probably mostly created and driven by my deep sexual insecurities. Us as a gay couple really don't have that great sex it's akward but once in awhile ,as spontaneous as it can get, when my strong sexual urge continues after preping a syringe then injecting it; it can once in awhile be very ravishing spontaneous animalistic sex with the benefit that the injection will keep me rigid for at least 1 1/2 hours. Yes my impotence effects things but I find campanionship to be most satisfying. All I can do is let my mind incorporate that fact I have to inject medicine in my penis and that's it's natural ( for me) and is part of the sexual process/experience. I'm not there yet but getting closer to that mindset.

damn i hear myself so much on this..we use dildos and it is great but when he comes he is done and i am just waiting for another chance. the pill is great but doesnt make him hard. i dont get why i cant have the arrousel by compliments and touching.. sex is great and yet there is a part i am missing out of. beeen dating for a while and thinking he is a selfish love and the ed is just part of it.

Justthe5ofus:

LIke I have said before I would try bringing up the use of a Vaccum Therapy System. Check out Pos-T-Vac online. I have been using them since I was diagnosed with ED.

My H bought a $500 pump and stopped trying it after two attempts because it did not work right away. We have been married 11 years and he has had ED since long before then...pretty much his whole life. At first he satisfied me manually and I posed for him while he masturbated...there was never any intercourse. After a time we stopped having sex altogether. He satisfied himself with porn and I just became uninterested. Then he had an EA with a coworker. When I found out we tried to rebuild our sex life but I told him I really wanted intercourse. He agreed to try but that was a year ago. He finally got the pump last month but gave up after two tries. I don't think he really wants to try. I think he is happy the way things are. I think he just wants to appease my by making excuses why nothing has gotten better. I have been patient but how long am I supposed to wait?

wow $500. my insurance bought mine...i use both the pill and the pump and tried porn for awhile even watched during intercourse. it was killing everything. the pumps work sorta takes time and perhaps instruction. I got my class from the doc. i am guessing he got discouraged. i agree must have intercourse isnt that the reason and purpose for sex..stay with it I took a year break

I completely understand. I have been struggling with this issue with my partner for over two years & he absolutely refuses to discuss it with me. I love him very much but his refusal does not allow myself to be who I really am for more than a couple of days at a time before I shut down & become distant. I have nobody to discuss this with or express how I feel about it. It affects everything & I know some day if this continues I'm going to have to make some really hard choices.

Hello Gata,

Sometimes when the pump doesn't work it could be that he just needs some therapy with the system. I had to have the same thing. When I called the male counselor at Pos-T-Vac they told me to use the system for 2 weeks, 3 times a day, 15 minutes each time. What you would do is intermittently pump until you have an erection, or until you have reached the maximum vacuum able to be created. Once you have reached maximum vacuum in the system hold it there for 2 minutes then release.

It helped me, and hopefully this information will help your husband too!

Miko,

He is probably embarrassed about the situation. Most men are, and I was too. You need to sit down and bring up the conversation. Tell him that you would like him to see a doctor because you are more concerned with the problem then he is.

You can do more research and find out that the majority of the time ED is present in a male, it is being cause by something else. There is a variety of factors that can play a role in Erectile Dysfunction, and your doctor is the only one who can determine what it is.

Hope this helps!

Hi diabetes fighter,
Thank you for your words however I have tried to initiate the conversation with him every couple of months for the past two years. I understand that he is embarrassed about this however he gets extremely angry whenever I bring the subject up. His response is that if I am not satisfied with him sexually or think that there is a problem then to leave him & go find someone else. Even when I have asked him to go to a doctor because as you pointed out it could be a symptom of another condition such as diabetes he tells me that it is none of my business & if I bring it up again he will leave the relationship then rather deal with the problem or whatever is causing it. The last time I brought it up & I am doing so with understanding & compassion he walked out right before Christmas & I had to beg him to stay for at least our childrens sake & promise to never mention it again.

Marriage counseling might be an alternate solution of talking about the problem. I don't see an alternate solution to bringing up the situation any other way. Sorry this is going on, and Good Luck!

Miko-
Wow, that's harsh. I think your husband must just be miserable with this. He probably tells himself things like "I have ED. I am such a waste. I don't deserve to be loved. She'd be happier with someone else."
Hey, he's got to know you love him for more than sex. And not just because of the kids because you also want to be intimate with him. So, here you are, wanting your husband's love and he is not even hearing you. He is threatening,and leaving.
I for one,would be crushed. The message I'd be getting from him would be "I don't care about you. It's all about me."

Sometimes a dog, when it has been hurt and is giving up all hope, will try to bite the person who reaches out to help. This is what your husband is doing, I think. "leave me alone and let me deteriorate."

His avoidance of this conversation would kill a lot of marriages. You are in serious trouble. Forget sex for now. But he is COMPLETELY undervaluing you- telling you to go find someone else. I bet he'd love to see you do that, just so he could reinforce his idea that women won't stick around for him, or that you just want sex, or that he might as well give up, blah blah blah...whatever his bullshit negative self-talk might be.
He is in a marriage, weather he likes it or not. It isn't right that he is deciding,for both of you, that your sex life is over. I don't care how big of a loser this makes him feel.He'll feel like even more of one when you do leave him and find someone else-- and not because he had ED