healing57
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- I am so miserable. I hate life, I hate myself I hate everyone and everything. Since I didn't tell anyone I started gambling again except the person who has my money, and he doesn't understand addiction, I have no one to talk to. I see an addiction...
- 13 days was where I was the first time I quit gambling for 19 months, when I first came to this sight. At least this time I know what to expect. pure misery of withdrawl. I am a mess most of the time. I have given all money to a friend and he...
- Don't know where to start. I was gamble free for 19 months and never imagined I could or would relapse. I have shared ths part of my story before but is important to my whole story. 19 months into my recovery, keep in mind I still played and...
- Day 8 has been very hard to get to. I have wanted to gamble non stop since the mothers day fiasco. I have been in bed crying most of the time. I just can't get up. I have been physically and mentally abused most of my life, my father my...
- Day 5.very hard. I have found that since I have started gambling again that if I get angry at someone, if there is any way possible I get straight to the car and drive the 2 and a half hours to gamble. So today is mothers day and my daughter had...
- Having such a hard time quitting this time. I was so lucky the first time I quit it seemed so much easier and I went 19 months and I thought I was "cured". I keep saying that is the last time and then I go again. It is a long way away, 5 hour round...
- My new grandson had his first major surgery yesterday and did very well. Something to be thankful for!
- Well today will be a true test for me. After relapsing after a year and a half of not gambling, I am currently 3 weeks today gamble free. I so want to gamble I do not know that I will make it through the day. First on Monday I was going to a...
- I cannot go on. I want to gamble plain and simple. I am so sucicdal. Instead of I will not gamble it is today I will not kill myself. I am not gambling but I am totally miserable. I hate myself and don't know how to get out of the mess I...
- I was 9 days clean but then I bought a lottery ticket. why? now 0 days. I feel like I am dying the withdrawl, shame remorse, I havent told anyone out side of my group , I told one couple and they were not nice about it and things are not the...
- I had quit gambling for 19 months and then I relapsed in March. The nearest casino that I am not banned from is 2 and a half hours away from me and I have gone there 7 times since March 3rd. I have lost EVERY time. How is that possible? At the...
- I know there is no such thing as kind of relapsing. Here is what happened and I need help sorting it out and getting back on track. I stopped gambling June 2016. It was hard but it was easier than I expected. I did a lot of recovery. 2 groups a...
- This week is the anniversary of my fathers suicide when I was 14. I found his body and he was buried on my birthday. You would think it gets easier after 40 years but really it dosen't. I have had some therapy but still this is usually a crappy...
- I haven't gambled since June 2015. I so want to gamble right now. Luckily I don't have any money and the nearest casino that I am not banned from is two hours away. I don't want to justdo any gambling I want to go to a casino. I am trying to...
- First I want to say how much I love leftover turkey sandwiches. I have been reflecting on the holidays. Before, during and after gambling. Before gambling, they were just holidays, food, family, friends, special days that I took for granted. ...