Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Day 5.very hard. I have found that since I have started gambling again that if I get angry at someone, if there is any way possible I get straight to the car and drive the 2 and a half hours to gamble. So today is mothers day and my daughter had a brunch for me and her mother in law. I have 3 grown daughters and for most part they treat me with total disrespect. Their father abused me physicallly and mentally so I guess it is a learned behavior. I have one daughter who is nicer than the other 2 but they can all be pretty hateful. Apparently I was the mother from hell. Any way I am very hearing impaired and my oldest daughter, the one I do the most for, give her money babysit anything she needs, is very very intolerant of me in general and of my hearing problem. she scrams at me at the top of her lungs for not hearing her. so today they were in the middle of a conversation and i missed the beginning of the conversation because thats how my hearing works and i was trying to understand what they were talking about and she just lost her shit and started screming at me for not understanding. then she said it dosent even matter you are making a big deal about something you don't understand that dosent even matter. And I said if it doesn't even matter why are you going crazy over it. then I left. this is such a typical occorance with her. she has said I am always too bossy and controlling over her parenting so I have purposly backed off and have asked in return that she treat me with more respect which she refuses to do so.she yells at me all the time and I do nothing but help her. Sorry this is so long but I am trying to get this out and not go to the casino. I was supposed to watch her kids all day Tuesday and there no way that is happening now. I understand she has a very hard life working full time and raising two kids, one very impossible toddler but I am sick of her treating me like crap all of the time. So I stopped and thought about it did not jump in the car and run to the casino or even go buy a lottery ticket just to take the edge off, I swear I am like a heroine addict. Today I will visit a friend in the nursing home and take my mind off of me. Thanks for listening. Today I will not gamble.
You have used this tool to keep from walking to the car.
Families are kind of systems that make up an emotional knot - from where, much of our addictive behavior stems. I know because I cam from an abusive childhood and I chose abusive mates. Anger and abuse roll downhill and hurting people, hurt people.
Removing yourself is may have been the best thing to do. You may want to take control of the next celebration that involve you. Decide what you want to do on your birthday and what you want for next Mother's Day. (Maybe a day at the spa without your adult children.) One friend told me last year that his four adult children gave him the best Father's Day, they left him alone. However, you may want to realize that having children and grandchildren is also a blessing that some of us will never know.
You are doing better than you realize, continue to refuse criticism from others or yourself and keep on keeping on. How about a nice bubble bath and your favorite music?
Today I will not gamble