Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
13 days was where I was the first time I quit gambling for 19 months, when I first came to this sight. At least this time I know what to expect. pure misery of withdrawl. I am a mess most of the time. I have given all money to a friend and he is pretty relentless as far as giving me money. He is giving me only what I need not a penny more. I don't like it but since I have no self control I guess I have to live with it. I cry and cry over how bad I want to gamble. This just really sucks. I just feel really bad. I have a 12 step support group that I go to but I am the only gambler. I have gone to several different ga meetings and several times to the one by me and it just not for me. It's not helpful. I hate that I relapsed and have to go through this again. That's one reason I don't want to quit because I don't want to feel like crap. But I guess I don't feel so great when I am gambling so at least I am working towards the goal of eventually feeling better. Today I will not gamble.
What does the desire to gamble feel like? How about an urge to gamble, what does that feel like? Your post has me asking myself these questions, how can we explain a feeling in words?
Well, first off I have to say to myself, read some of the posts, they explain the feeling of continuing to feed our addictions despite the fact we know we are harming ourselves. The lies. The scramble. The emptiness. My scariest knowledge is that it never gets better going back to gambling again. The insanity picks up where it left off at such a rapid pace, and then zooms forward, full force. I can’t put myself through that hell again, I know where it leads me.
Perhaps I sound dramatic, but I can only put my feelings about this addiction into words.
It’s actually hard for me to remember ever enjoying gambling. The desire was to hide. The urge was to escape. To hide and escape from what, life. My life.
No more. Today I chose not to gamble because I chose a better life.
We’re here for you, you are not alone.