Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I know there is no such thing as kind of relapsing. Here is what happened and I need help sorting it out and getting back on track. I stopped gambling June 2016. It was hard but it was easier than I expected. I did a lot of recovery. 2 groups a week, counseling and this forum. I will add that I have always still played non gambling card and board games, I know some people can't do that but it is not a trigger for me. Well a friend of mine who lives 2 hours away plays eucher once a month, it is a non gambling card game, and I said if you ever have room I would come play. There are 8 women 2 tables. So she invited me for the second Thursday in January. At some point she mentioned, when it would have been to late to bail out, they would not have enough people, that they all put a couple of dollars in a bucket and win prizes at the end. I know I should of just said nope can't do that, but I am a people pleaser and don't like to let people down, so I said well I can't really do that it would be gambling, so we decided that she would use her money and I would ignore the fact that they were playing for money. Well of couse I won and they handed me the money, just a few dollars, and I threw it in her purse as soon as I could like it was poison. So just like that I lost my year and a half quit date. I haven't told anyone in my groups and I don't really go to the groups that often. I finally did tell my small private group but the other 50 people in the group don't know. After that "since I already gambled anyway" I bought lottery tickets 4 times. I have also been consumed with the desire to go to the casino. I come on here every day and read and re read the posts because I want to remember why I do not want to go to the casino. The other day I even took out all of my bill money out of the bank determined to sneak away to the nearest casino I am not banned from 2 hours away and gamble. Then I read and re read when the fun stops and just went to bed in the middle of the day for hours to keep from going. So here I am. When people ask me how long it's been since I gambled I can no longer say a year and a half and I am embarresed. I am so close to going to the casino but it would absolutley totally ruin my life. I have been to GA alot of times and a few different meetigs but it is really not my thing I don't find it helpful I know it's good for a lot of people just not for me. I have a christian addition group that I need to re commit to. I just want to feel normal again and not want to gamble. my life was so much better before I won that few measly dollars.
Well, let's see, how far down the gambling road do you want to go? Back to every day junkie who never has a dime? Just because you are counting a streak that has reset, does not mean your year+ of abstinence didn't happen. You had a plan that was working pretty well. Something just needs to be adjusted.
What relapsing means is I am not taking care of all of my needs in a healthy way, instead I am turning to my addiction(s). So I must look at what I am not providing for myself? Am I taking care of my HALT, (hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness)? Eating and sleeping in a healthy way? Am I giving myself positive strokes? Am I giving myself time to be quiet? Am I giving myself time to be grateful, time to commune with my higher power? Am I giving myself social opportunities? Am I giving myself fun things to do? Am I giving to others?
You know now that the incident derailed your abstinence and threatened your recovery. But just because you got a flat tire, doesn't mean you have to slash the other three tires. You can make a decision to get on track before a devastating amount of damage is done. You can decide that you deserve more meaningful activities that don't squander your resources and actually make you feel better.
You can decide that you would rather ______________ (fill in blank with something you love/once loved/might love) over Spring break for a couple of days than squander your money, life and energy gambling till you're broke, day in and day out, from now until then. (eternity?)
You can do this, you deserve a life of meaning, joy, peace and fun!
Your situation was a bit unique, but the trigger seems pretty obvious. It’s disappointing to start at day one again, it’s not easy, but you know what to expect, it will get easier with time. Remember that today is the day that matters. Never give up the good fight, think about doing the next right thing. That thought helps me a lot.
You’re here. Don’t beat yourself up anymore. Quit again, it’s the best thing for you.