Someone said to me once when I was where you are: "you have to hold on until the miracle. " At that time, it made me want to punch them in the face, to tell you the truth, but now I know that they were right. And the miracle wasn't some great event - it was just that I woke up one day feeling less pain, and that continued until at some point I noticed I was ok. It seems impossible to believe it when you're in the darkness, but truly, things will get better. I needed lots of neutral outside voices of reason to help me through. Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255. Nat'l Gambling Hotline: 1-800-522-4700. Sleep. A walk outside. Small things that make you feel better for a moment. These can all help until things begin to turn around. Be kind to yourself minute to minute and know you're not alone.

Hundreds of times I returned to the madness to escape from the depression caused by not gambling. It never worked and made things SO much worse. Try to reach out to a hotline, or see your DR. and get some help for yourself. You are so worth it, and you have a right to be happy like so many others who have escaped their bondage of addiction. You have to want this more than anything , so fight for your life, do not EVER think of throwing it away. So many sick people would love to have the chance to have one more day. Life can be such a wonderful gift, please try to think of your blessings and not your pain. The ONE thing I learned for sure, it does get better if you just be patient and stay away from what put you so far down. God Bless

I did not. think I could quit either. Counseling and therapy helped but it did not happen overnight. I had to decide that I deserved a better life than the one I was destroying by 40 years of gambling. You can get through this. It is hard, depressing and lonely but you can get through it. I remember the pain, anxiety, tears, fears, being suicidal, and the self-torture you are going through. That is part of what keeps me abstinent now.
Befriending myself is the other thing that now helps me stay abstinent. It is the "magical thinking" of this addiction that makes us think we can cure our current problems with one more run at the casino.
If your child was going through drug withdrawal, say heroin, it is unlikely you would offer them heroin so they could "feel better". The casino/gambling is your heroin. As yes2recovery said, I too, had to have some outside voices of sanity to get through this addiction. National problem gambling helpline and suicide prevention were two I used as well as GA and counseling. Find ways to be kind to yourself. Chicken soup, bubble bath, manicure, library, tea, favorite music, favorite movie, comfort clothes, best friend kind of things. It seemed I had to fight this MEAN disease with KINDNESS to myself. Hugs.

You can do this, please don’t tell yourself that you can’t. Give yourself time to heal, knowing you’re doing your best as long as you’re not feeding your addiction. I still struggle with my mental illness issues, depression being the leading force. I think? It’s so hard to self diagnose, for example, am I depressed or sad, my daughter will ask me that sometimes because she knows me so well. In GA I heard a saying that made me want to punch someone in the face (lol yestorecovery) that goes like this, “ Fake it, till you Make it”, to me that now means, begin to treat yourself with love, little by little you won’t be faking it anymore, you’ll be embracing it as a real way to treat yourself. Keep posting, we need you here with us
Today I will not gamble

This makes me so sad to read.I have felt the torture you feel I have wanted to just drive off a bridge.I have felt unworthy,
Deeply depressed,
alone,I self sabotaged my life for 30 years.I haven't gambled since February I finally feel alive again.some days are harder because I have to face challenges head on instead of hiding from reality at a slot machine.BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT.I stay so busy I don't think about gambling much.I have paid off 4 maxed out credit cards since February.I am becoming a new better person everyday.YOU CAN DO THIS YOU ARE NOT ALONE .PLEASE GET HELP ASAP ❤️

I do feel your pain. The hopelessness and despair can be overwhelming. I do know this post maybe contrary to the opinions of some. However for me my hope today comes from someone and not something. Trust me this not coming from a spiritual or moral hilltop because I can still screw things up without much effort. But what I do know is my hope is eternal. It’s not because I don’t know but because I don’t do. I will be praying for you. I agree with doing things that get your mind off of things. However for me the only thing that remains the same is God’s love for me and YOU!!!! You are in my prayers.