Sierrawr6911

69 days without cutting... and it's all I can think about. The last few days have been overwhelming and unpleasant... I'm trying soo hard.. but I just want to curl up and disappear.. I feel like such...

I feel so empty.. It's like the world has drained me of everything I had... The strength to live.. The ability to smile and laugh.. I feel weak... I still manage to force myself to laugh and smile...

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try to be better. To be less lazy, nicer, more helpful,  happier... You always fail??I want yo be better,  i want to do more and make people around me...

I'm not sure if I am feeling better.. Or if I am just feeling numb..  On top of everything I was feeling.. The person I was actually starting to get pretty close to informed me yesterday morning...

I'm kinda of falling apart right now.... Not doing very good.... In a lot of pain, crying,  and trying soooo hard not to hurt myself.. I want to cut, burn, anything.. I just want to feel better.. I...

I wish I could understand the things going on in my head... One second I feel fine, hopeful, positive. Then it's like, out of the blue, half the time for no reason at all, I feel sad, angry, lonely,...

So, a lot has happened.... I don't want to get into most of it and am going to be leaving a lot out.. But.. Aside from the usual family drama and them making me feel even more like shit.. He reached...

I've been having a lot of bad dreams.. Feels like I'm getting worse again.. I am trying to just relax and not let everything get to me.. It's just really hard.. I feel so angry and sad.. I just hate...

Not too bad. I'm sick.. So that's getting old.. Been dizzy.. Can barely walk through the house without feeling like I'm going to pass out.. But, even with that I am doing okay.Focusing on taking care...

Is it bad that when I woke up and saw that he had sent me a random message I got kind of excited? It was just a simple "hey" but.. That's more than I usually get. usually he'll go a few months of no...

I can't breathe...... like... I am.. I'm actually breathing probably normally.. but.. It feels like my lungs are empty.. like.. There is no more air to breathe...... A guy I've been kinda interested...

I've felt anxious all day.. Literally woke up close to a panic attack. Have felt sick to my stomach, weak, dizzy.. After cooking dinner I was walking back toward the living room and nearly passed out...

It is shocking how much I think about suicide.. I mean.. I knew I have those thoughts a lot.. But I've only just realized how much I do think about it.. I'm not planning to kill myself... But.. I...

Was a long day/night.. Wasn't feeling well.. Pretty depressed.. Been thinking way too much.. I feel like I've worked my way back into being alone again.. and it's getting to me.. It's amazing how I...

I'm thinking a lot about some of the things that have happened to me in the past.. Some old feelings are coming back.. The amount of people who have been abusive and.. Inappropriate.. Towards me.....