Long night..

Was a long day/night.. Wasn't feeling well.. Pretty depressed.. Been thinking way too much.. I feel like I've worked my way back into being alone again.. and it's getting to me.. It's amazing how I can push people away and not get close to people yet I can't stand to be alone anymore..  I remember when being alone was one of the things I wanted most.. Now I feel lost when I have no one.. I miss my little group of friends.. Always having someone to talk to.. I miss having someone to talk to... I mean, I have a couple of people to talk to.. But.. Mostly they don't really care. And the few people that might talk to me I don't talk to because I don't want to bug them so I just kinda leave it be.. 
I need to get my shit together and get out.. Meet people.. Start hanging out with people. I was pretty much relying on my sister to get me out for a little bit sometimes. But we haven't been too close lately and she's out a lot with her friends and I'm just stuck here with my mom... It's not good for me... It's not good for my mental health to be stuck with the person who has the most negative impact on me 24/7.. But There isn't really anything I can do. I can't seem to get things started.. I just need to get my drivers license.. Something so simple.. And I can't seem to get it done.. There is always some reason why I can't do it.. : / If I could just do that it'd make a huge difference.. Get my license, work on fixing my truck. Get a job. I'd be set. And at the very least I could convince my mom to let me drive down the road and walk my dog. And meet my sister after she gets off work to go to the gym. It'd be a lot better than sitting in this depressing house all the time..  
I'm not giving up.. Hopefully soon everything will start to fall into place.. One step at a time.. Can't stress myself out.. Just need to relax... I can do this..