gimmestrength2008

well, i finnaly made iit to my sisters house. nefues computer is of course broke since im here. he is letting me use the good computer right now for a while, trying to fix his so he can get back on...

well, i just finished a 10 min pm meditation. now my back hurts so bad. i cant lay flat on the floor cause im so fat now. my back realy hurts. will try next time to sit in a chair. all i kept...

so her i am only had a half a xanex so far today. im low as ussually. dont get them till thurs, so trying to make them last. im so nervious, sick to my stomach, dizzy, the whole nine yards. cant wait...

we4ll, here i am again. bro came today and called aaa to jump me, the guy was a real idiot. he said i needed a new battery, wanted over one hundred for it. so we jumped it and took it to parts store...

we4ll, here i am again. bro came today and called aaa to jump me, the guy was a real idiot. he said i needed a new battery, wanted over one hundred for it. so we jumped it and took it to parts store...

am so uncomfortable, ate a sandwich and about 6 dill pickle slices, it was the pickles that got me. i feel so bad i might be sick. havnt even ate dinner yet. hope i feel better in little while....

well, here i am just watched some george carlin whith sis. hurt my stomach laughing so hard. he will be missed by us. ok, going to sis house from tues morning till thurs morning. i will have my own...

well, as i thought, the car didnt start. now i have no job no money and my car is broke. thats about right. i dont know why i cant just get a break allready. realy starting to get even moore...

well, i ate and took meds, starting to kick in so wont be on long. getting pretty tired, if cant sleep, will get back on. talked to dn on phone. seems to be doing better. got nothing done today,...

well, im out of bed after i got off here, i tokk 1 nd a half xanex. thought i would be able to take a nap, not happening. i used to be able to nap all the time, before all this losing myu job...

well, i made it, barely. i stayed there for 2 days and nights, longest time ever. didnt think i was going to make it. everything is so hard out there. i just hate it. tried to talk to mommy dearest...

well, three times in one day i wrote in here. thats pretty good. i did one half hour of just stretchinhg. i do feel a little better. im going to hurt tommorow, but oh well, thats tommorow, at least i...

well, im better now. took half a xanex, now i can type and concentraite. i so whish i didnt have to be so addicted to these but i am and im a little old to try to quit anything. it works for me so...

well, here i am. the day started out to be decent, but oh no we cant have that. was at the store, got my food so i can feed my face and get even fatter, then i go out and the stupid car wont start....

juat droped mk off at work. couldnt wait to get on here. this is where i want to be. i feel safe here. i am so gratefull for my real family. son going to pay cable bill, sisters husband paying phone...