started out ok

well, here i am. the day started out to be decent, but oh no we cant have that. was at the store, got my food so i can feed my face and get even fatter, then i go out and the stupid car wont start. of course. had cousin come and give me a jump. at first it didnt take it, of course. then eventually, it took it. now i have no confidence in the car now. i have no idea why it went dead. im very good about not  leaving anything on, moore like anal about it. now i will be scared very time i try to start it. this i do not need. why cant anything work out? i am realy anxious. havnt had a xanex all day, dont know why i did this. now im so shacky and nervouis. have to go take one now. cant even type now so shacky. im so addicted i whish i wasnt, but i am. dont know why i try sometimes to go whithout my morning dose. trying to save some so i can take extra whene i go to dns house. i will need all i can get when i go there and will still have a very hard time. i just hate it there. i know i need to help him, but i just hate it there. if mommy dearest wasnt there it would be better, but still not good. ok, realy need to drug myself now. will get back on wene stop shackingmoore to come...