i realy have a great family
juat droped mk off at work. couldnt wait to get on here. this is where i want to be. i feel safe here. i am so gratefull for my real family. son going to pay cable bill, sisters husband paying phone and think dn paying rent. i wish i didnt have to beg dn. he is supposed to be my loving boyfriend. he does love me, i do know that i just wish i could be moore loving to him. i think im dead inside. i havnt cried in many years, though i am sad all the time. i have no moore tears. i realy need to cry, but i cant so thats that i guess. thats the PTSD kiking in. i just go numb. i would like to be able to cry. just not going to happen. if i do though, i know ill never stop. maybe thats it. ok, have to scracth off lottery tikets. won 20.00 yesterday. spent only 3.00 on moore tickets, stupid i know, but i am crazy, so there. im not responsible for my actions, i wish i wasnt. used to be so carefree before the accident. now i am so tainted. ok, by for now.
Replies
Hey lady. I felt dead inside when I was hit with my major depressive episode 3 years ago. I felt the same, numb. Who cares, cause I didn\'t. I just laid in bed and didn\'t give a crap about anyone else, least of all myself or what I was doing to others. But you know what? Maybe crying for a while WOULD help you. SO what if you can\'t stop, it would relieve the pressure on the inside. The stress on your body alone is enough reason to let off some of the steam, the hurt, the pain and the conflict of emotions you\'re going through. I\'m so glad you have a great family to help take care of things. That\'s a great blessing. Send me a message or let\'s chat sometime, okay? Love ya.