only had half a xanex today

so her i am only had a half a xanex so far today. im low as ussually. dont get them till thurs, so trying to make them last. im so nervious, sick to my stomach, dizzy, the whole nine yards. cant wait till i can take the rest for the day. i hate it wen i get like this. cant realy type now. to nervoius. my hands dont want to work. i hate being like this. have to go try to calm myself down, dont know how. still havnt cleaned this place. cant concentrait on anything. hope we dont have any inspections comeing up. i hate them too. thats the only bad part about this place. they can come in wenever they want. used to pay cousin to clean for me but now i have no job and i cant get anything done. im very confused right now, mind raceing so bad. have to pack for tommorow. dont know what to take. will get back on later wene not so shacky...