Baxjanson
Status: I wish I were as perceptive and accepting of my strengths as I am my flaws.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- Just spent 2 hours arguing with her. She said she felt threatened when I asserted myself. But she wanted me to learn to assert myself. Just not with her.When asked why, she responded - sadly, and honestly - that when she hears me assert myself to...
- So I'm safe, and I understand a lot of this... but it's so FRUSTRATING.My wife Now has admitted the following:My friend made her feel jealous and insecure and frightened.She would encourage me to spend time with my friend (J).I would get home, and...
- I know my wife is madly in love with me. I still love her, too.I know she doesn't want to hurt me. But I also know that when she is afraid, she needs to do whatever she can to combat that fear - and the simplest course of action is to exert...
- Just got chewed out by a friend and coworker. I messed up, and we really had to scramble to get together the props I needed. I vented my frustrations, and she took offense. Now she wants a retraction.I told her I felt she was being very...
- She was doing so well. I want to dismiss it as my being too senstitive.I posted on FB that I was feeling lonely the other night. A lady from our Sunday school saw, and came to me afterwards to express her sympathy, and that she's praying for us. ...
- Last night, I drove an hour to see a friend's show. I didn't tell anyone - I'm not living at home, I don't need to double check with anyone, right?My wife texted me a few times during the show - I didn't tell her I was going, and it was just 'How...
- All right, I'm sorry to bother you, but brain is overflowing. A very common response I am hearing when I reach out for help is 'you won't be a victim if you don't let yourself be one.'Which is certainly true - I don't want to define myself as a...
- Bad night.My rehearsal had to be moved to the basement of the building so they could have auditions for our next show.Two people were upstairs. The one friend I have left, and my old friend, who forbade me to ever talk to her again because my...
- Hard session yesterday. I apologize for keeping a running total here.I stood up, metaphorically speaking.I made the point that I felt like if she had a half tank of gas left after taking care of the kids, she would reach out and gather more kids. ...
- I watched the kids half the day yesterday.She and I talked after they went to bed.She was actually listening to me.Still not admitting that she's abusive, but she's listening to some of my complaints, and didn't turn them back on me.We spent the day...
- Odd place this morning. It would be - should be scary. But it isn't.I'm not numb, but I'm not fighting the pain anymore. It's going to happen, no matter what I do, no matter if I do the right things or the wrong things. Monday, there was my wife...
- Session yesterday.They aren't abuse specialists, so do tend to try to make sure I'm accepting my share of the blame. And it's true, I could have stopped the abuse at any time, by speaking up. Now that I'm recognizing what's going on, I am.I was...
- So my wife is actually balanced right now. I'm on guard for the end of the honeymoon period, in case it is just the honeymoon period. Couples session on Monday started out with the wall of blame at me, but later on she did realize how unclear her...
- I've moved out, but nothing is finalized. I have very little contact with my wife, and what little I have is mostly very light, day to day type stuff. My problem is that as I'm out and away, it's becoming very difficult to keep things in...
- This morning I was feeling good. Confident. Strong. Powerful. Capable.And I didn't like it. It scared me.It made me feel barely in control, predatory, threatening.My mental image is of Gaston from beauty and the beast.I believe I remember...