malibumark

Some other thoughts about this. I was thinking about how I need to subjugate myself to the monasteryactivities as in prayerful and solemn services, silence during meals and limited conversation with...

Marc, I’m having a beer. Life was feeling too austere.I thought about how it’s no coincidence that I live in a female monastery as chaplain. I usually had a lot of girl friends growing up, whom I...

plus your sense of relationships grows and expands as you need to negotiate and navigatelife in its full and dimensional form.. You focus more on practical things and pragmatic things - you like...

It's wild but, I realized today while in serviceand outside of service too - that I can't get too submissiveto the aesthetic of things I am involved with aka trying to fit inor being perfect...

Just need to keep in a zone and take the work one step at a time today. I know we all have to bide our time and patience towards walking ourselves through our work and alone time. Nobody's perfect...

i don't know how to wind down right now.I want to call my Dad to calm myselfbut I want to respect his space too.My friend is also notaround.After we spoke today with my therapistI had a good...

It's a quiet day of services and laundry here.I had the sense, when back in my cell/room, thateverything I was supposed to take care of was done,and everything that I could afford to do financially...

I am blessed with a handful of good friends and family.My illness make want to run to others for help. I have very supportive friends and family but I must be my own best friend to carry myself...

Are you afraid of relaxing and going for what you want?I've had to structure my life so carefully because of my condition that very much'pleasure' has taken a backseat in the realm of my survival....

I was in services this morning and I thought about how we each struggle daily in our lives.I felt the abrasiveness of my fellow altar worker and the others. I thoughtabout how they come to this...

I was wrestling with the 'fall out' from yesterday's dealing with the sisters.it felt like I could do no right. This morning again I was setting up church and my heart was torn out from the last...

I need to have some humility too. People have to deal with how I am in the world too.

The morning started with me running down to church setting up for the service and then conducting service until around 9:30. Start time is 5:30 AM. Anyways, after services we had time to have coffee...

sorry this sounds like a sweeping treatise. I just discovered while working behind theiconostasis today, conducting service, that while balancing my own disciplinewith things I need to do and be...