dealing with the sh*t and dealing with the good stuff
I think I've come to know now that very often when I am alone in my room
I become frozen in anxiety. I am faced with the questions which I am finally coming
to voice clearly - "what if they don't like me?" "what if I mess up?" "what if I am fired?"
"Where will I go?" - and I am just now started to realize we ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH
QUESTIONS LIKE THAT... So hold tight and appreciate the good times and cope
with the survival and reality stuff and bad times. i have a family that loves me
and beautiful friends. Support and encourage all of them.
I think I am seeing how any foray into free time makes me nervous about straying too
far from the norm - fear of awakening passions and restlessness here?
but I also am getting how it is a righteous and good thing
for me to do. I am grounded now. I need to take my meds and go to bed.
Life is a mystery. I am grateful for Blue. His good life will be my legacy.
Prayers and support to you all.
Replies
Your legacy will also include all the people you've helped at the monastery. And your DS legacy!
Big hug sweetie
There are some that say it's none of my business what others think of me
And it's true!!
You know that you do your best
You're a kind and thoughtful person and a good and loyal friend
If you're struggling from the anxiety that your disorder can create I would discuss it with your doctor as well your therapist sweetie
Your therapist may be able to suggest tools to help with the anxiety for times you aren't talking with him Marky...xo
Thanks Jan and Susan!
They say one of the hardest things, but necessary, is to get comfortable with yourself when alone.
You are on a journey of self realization and you're making progress!
You are an important part of your community there at the monastery, so don't sell yourself short!
Like you, I can get caught up in the "what ifs." Here are two more questions to add to the list:
What if things work out?
How exciting would that be?!? You don't have to choose between hope and realism -- you can have both!
And another one:
What if the worst possible thing happens? What evidence do you have that you'd find your way through it?
I think you've already answered that. You have people who love you, friends who support you, and a cheering squad here on DS. You've made it through very difficult times before, and you're grounded enough to make it through them again.
Anxiety is really good at generating possibilities, but it's terrible at predicting reality. I think Jan's suggestion of talking with your therapist about anxiety-reducing techniques is a good one.
I don't believe your legacy ends with Blue. You've also touched the lives of people at the monastery, and you've made a real difference in our lives too!
Hugs.
Thanks GT!
thanks Judy! that is wonderful!!! You are amazing!! Thanks!!
Thanks both!