Thor2008

Overslept again.  From 10:00 pm to 7:30 am.  I'm going to out the Thorazine (100 mg) and Temazepam (30 mg) for now and then when I see the psychiatrist ("Walrus") again next week, I'll get him...

So my last journal was about finally getting some reasonable amounts of sleep.  Well, last night I overslept for about three hours and was late for work by about 45 min.  There was a big wreck...

My manias have increased in frequency and in magnitude.  The last mania led me into full psychosis and hospitalizations.  My disease is getting worse.  I change medications all the time but the...

Just go back from my last hospitiliization.  Went in this time to get the meds readjusted.  Went in with nine daily meds and came out with five.  Ended up with Thorizaine shots in the butt....

Today is my first day working at the site.  I am just five days out from my stay at the mental hospital.  I guess it matters that I received three massive doses of Thorazine.  I am in a mental fog...

I feel that my abiity to work is going downhill.  I am having memory problems, typing problems, hand tremors, and general intellect problems.  I work at home for now, but I think that others will...

Saw a bunch of new homes today.  I hate shopping for anything and would rather be shot than go to any store.  My wife loves that and does it for us entirely.  She likes to see new homes to get...

The company that I work for still have not completed its novation from one company to another.  That means I am still without a contract that requires access to classified info.  Where I work is...

Yesterday, I was having a crisis.  I told my TDoc about a burden that I that has caused me a lot of pain and grief.  That opened the flood gates with her and my PDoc yesterday.  I talked about it...

Have two doctor's appointments today - pre-op meeting for my shoulder, and the PDoc afterward.  On the shoulder, I am nervous due to the very bad surgical experiences in the military. I am going to...

The TDoc today asked if I have ever done some drugs and that I should try marijuana and maybe some acid.  She said it would calm me out as I am always stressed by my depression and PTSD.  A bit odd...

So, I am working from home just like last week.  Had a trip out to another state last week.  I was in a lonely hotel room thinking about where I could with the towels that I ripped up...   But now...

Today, I spoke with the TDoc about my greatest shame and guilt. I finally broke down and told her near the end of the session. I never wanted to mention it or bring it up, but I make no sense without...

I work in a secure building and managed to get thrown out today. My company is in the process of being bought out by another company, and my company allowed its clearance to lapse. Makes sense as the...

I have had a sleep problem like many of us, and I have taken both the IR (instant release) and CR (constant release) version Ambien.  I am currently taking the max dosage of either. The CR made me...