PDoc Today
Have two doctor's appointments today - pre-op meeting for my shoulder, and the PDoc afterward. On the shoulder, I am nervous due to the very bad surgical experiences in the military. I am going to talk with the doc about something to help me get through the pre-op time. I will be in a state of a near panic attack for hours beforehand.
On the PDoc, I need new scripts. This dude needs to start handing out multi-month scripts as the line at the military pharmacy is usually 2-3 wait. This is not an exaggeration. Lastly, I signed some paperwork with the TDoc so they could talk together about me. Now I am apprehensive about what she has shared with him. When I was in the service, and very sick at the time everyone met behind my back to decide what to do with Thor. The meeting was all of my doctors, therapist, psychologist, random social workers, administrators from the hospital, and then three levels of my supervision from my work. I gave them no permission to share information in between the doctors let alone others that I have not met nor my employer. My employer knew my entire medical history, and I came back to a make-work job with no responsibilities. Everyone knew. Everyone saw it. Everyone Talk. I was a very senior officer, and this made the gossip very robust. I didn't know about this until a couple of months later about the full extent of this meeting. Did they have my best interests, and why could I not speak in my own defense. So, I sent a text to my TDoc asking what she sent in. I don't know what was sent. What if she sends something negative, that I am faking or not worth his time or just a burdensome patient.
Replies
Thor, the military does not need you present for a full staffing of your case, nor did they need your permission. In regular hospitals, they do need permission to include employers, and may choose to have you present for part of it. Usually the case is discussed before the patient comes in. Confidentiality laws prohibit discussion in any public forum, so only those present would have that knowledge. The change in your job may have led to speculation, but not information.
Hope they have sent some meds to ease the anxiety about the surgery. When the paramedics took me to the hospital, I had no say in who would be operating on the break. Luckily, I seem to have lucked out with a good ortho. Healing and comforting hugs.
Gentle hug Thor.... When medical professionals are discussing a patient it's to come up with a plan that is they believe might help the person.... Quite often it's important to get the whole medical team involved
I agree that having your career involved is something else again but I don't know how things work in the military
I am sorry if you were the subject of gossip.... That would hurt however please know that isn't what medical professionals are about that work in mental health …… they work in that area because they care about people's mental health and well being..... Another hug.....xo
I am sensitive to meeting like that as someone is deciding for me, and I am left to comply. You lose control of your care, and since everyone that you see was there, they will force you into their decision. You lose your agency. I felt this in the hospital because all the doors were locked. All the windows didn't open.
For me, others were included that had no business there (with no medical training or oath). But I should have been informed to allow me on make a decision free of their influence. How can I give informed consent if the tables are tilted? We need to fight for our participation in our care.
You seem to get on pretty well with your Pdoc from what you've told us. I'd just ask him flat out if you want to know what they've discussed. I'd also asking him if she's shared her more non-conventional treatment methods with him and see what his take is on them....I have a feeling he won't be in agreement.
The reason he's not giving you too many meds at one time is the Suicide talk and Suicide Ideation. Once he's comfortable that you're in a safer place (mentally) he'll give you more meds to keep at home.
Thor, all at the meeting would have been advised that the discussion was confidential. Whether it's a prison or a locked mental unit, nobody likes feeling trapped, with no way out. Once they have set a plan of action, you can then speak up to your primary counselor or Pdoc to discuss revising that plan. The doctor is at the top of that totem pole, but will usually listen to the counselor. It is hard to have our fate in the hands of others. Non-compliance only makes things worse. Calming hugs.
I asked the PDoc today and he said that my TDoc did speak with him but it was vague. I sensed that he was not being fully candid with me.
Thor, I am a believer in trust your gut. I'd go with he was not candid or open with you. Not a good space to be in. I would also be hesitant with the Tdoc's report on the conversation. I am usually a very trusting person, but when my gut says something is off, I go with the gut. Hang in there, as we are hanging in with you. Calming hugs.
SimpsonOK, thanks. I am accustomed to subterfuge from my medical team that this does not surprise me. He did what he was there to do - new scripts. Same mix of nine different, but with one more added. Will drop those off on Monday and pickup on Wed.
Curious if you feel like sharing, what your med cocktail is now?
I will. First, everything does look better in the morning.
Here is the cocktail:
Latuda
Oxcarbazepine
Lithium
Wellbutrin XL
Gabapentin
Nortriptyline
Ambien
Restoril
Vyvanse