Turned in gun...
I turned in my fire arm last nite to the city police headquarters. It was scary; when I got there I parked in the back and called dispatch. He said 'someone' would be out. Well 10 minutes later, they sent half-dozen officers; one with weapon drawn. They asked me to get out of vehicle and put my hands behind my head. I thought they were gonna hand-cuff me and drag me to a holding cell! I explained that I only wanted to turn in my fire-arm for my own/and my family's safety. They wanted me to come in and they asked lots of background questions: why did I purchase gun, what sparked the suicidal thoughts, etc. Then they called in a mental health expert who asked me the same questions and did a mental eval on me to see if I needed to be hospitalized. I convinced him that I am functional and that I am seeing a therapist, I go to a local support group for BiPolar/Depression, I have people's numbers that I can call if I am at a 'low-point', etc. Long story short they let me go home. It took about 1 1/2 hr; got there 8:45p and left at about 10:30p. Spouse/family didn't know where I was and no one knew about gun.
I am somewhat relieved the gun is out of the house; didn't want my 10yr old stumbling on it or anyone else. That would've been catastrophic! My mother-in-law just got here a week ago and will be here til Dec. - so it might've been more like armaggedon! I not sure if I'll get my gun back or the process it would take to get it back and I'm not gonna inquire right now. I still think it was my quick ticket outta here when/if things get worse, so I feel very vulnerable & exposed...
Everyone keeps saying that things will get better but I just can't see how; my faith is very weak and I'm still in this dark chamber of depression. If I lived on my own, I probably would've kept the gun...
I am somewhat relieved the gun is out of the house; didn't want my 10yr old stumbling on it or anyone else. That would've been catastrophic! My mother-in-law just got here a week ago and will be here til Dec. - so it might've been more like armaggedon! I not sure if I'll get my gun back or the process it would take to get it back and I'm not gonna inquire right now. I still think it was my quick ticket outta here when/if things get worse, so I feel very vulnerable & exposed...
Everyone keeps saying that things will get better but I just can't see how; my faith is very weak and I'm still in this dark chamber of depression. If I lived on my own, I probably would've kept the gun...
Replies
I am SOOOO proud of you! That was a huge step! I have tears in my eyes after reading this. I am really, really proud of you, mal!
Good job! This is very life affirming. There are many insights you need to your illness...to give you something to work with.
I\'ve never met a person with Bipolar Disorder that wasn\'t abused in some way, form, or fashion.
You need not commit suicide...you need to surrender to care.
That was extremely brave and right. I hope your new therapist helps that act and all that was involved seem worthwhile.
Sometimes we cling to life with only a thread. That might seem scary but small faiths and waiting can be powerful.
So extremely proud of you for turning in the gun....you are most definetely taking steps in the right direction,hopefully the new therapist can also help along the way.....you are not alone here...here to help you in whatever way we can....Again VERY PROUD!! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
What a brave and smart thing to do! Good for you! Sounds like you are making some sound decisions....keep it up!
Wise, wise decision Mal. Proud of you for taking that step.
Wow!!! How strong and brave you are!!! I know it probably doesn\'t feel like it, but like everyone else said, you made the right decision!!! Sending good thoughts our way.
Wow!!! How strong and brave you are!!! I know it probably doesn\'t feel like it, but like everyone else said, you made the right decision!!! Sending good thoughts our way.
I\'m glad you were able to turn in the gun and protect everyone. You have a wonderful heart under all of that pain.
My thoughts are with you.
((hugs)) Patricia