Elandlu2
Status: 62 year old mom and grandmom. Trying to hold myself together
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- For awhile I thought I'd be ok--not great, not happy, but OK. But the past few days I've missed him horribly. I'm in physical pain from this. Can't sleep, cry at the drop of a hat. Dark thoughts run through my mind--not so much that I'd actually...
- 3 weeks ago I broke up with my partner of 3 yrs. It was heartbreaking--one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I felt that he left me no choice.Before we moved in together 2 yrs ago I found out (through Facebook) that he was cheating on me...
- I had a really good day yesterday. I felt energized -- in a good way -- not the "I'm mad as hell" way. Took the day off, went for a massage, did some shopping, signed up for an aerobics class, played with the kittens, cooked myself a real dinner....
- Didn't sleep last night. Just couldn't rest my mind. Yesterday evening someone knocked at the door and there was this young couple there, asking for us by name. Turns out this was the guy we sold a boat to the end of last season (that was one of our...
- 7 am--been awake since 4:30. The depression is lying on me like a wet blanket. Been crying off and on, but mostly just lying here feeling alone and miserable. Thinking of how you destroyed us. How you took my love, my dreams, our future and...
- For the first time since this all started I had a brief interlude of peace this evening. The past couple of days have been hard for me--I've been missing him horribly, and questioning myself. I've been angry and hurt. But for maybe an hour or two I...
- I'm freaking out a bit right now. I had a session with my therapist tonight and we were talking about cyber affairs and why they happen and such. I've also done some reading on the subject and now I have this in my head: If I didn't look at his...
- Woke up around 4:45 a.m. and enjoyed a split second of peace before the reality hit me. He's gone. Tried to go back to sleep, but the thoughts wouldn't let me, so I got up 5:15. Fed the pets--discovered that the dog (again) peed in the living...
- I've been up for hours already, and it's only 7 am. Crying off and on, but mostly reading and thinkingI'm beginning to wonder if breaking off our relationship was the right thing to do. Should I have suggested that we go for counseling, or try and...
- I've been proud of myself the past few days. Taking positive steps, trying to move on. But today something--I'm not even sure what--triggered something, and I just cried most of the afternoon. The love we had, the happiness we shared, the plans, the...
- Monday I broke up with my partner because he has been having an affair online. I first found out about this 3 mths ago, and he assured me it "just happened" and it didn't mean anything and assured me it was over. But (I don't know how stupid he...
- I talked to my son today about the breakup and he just had this "he was a selfish jerk" attitude. That made me feel like he was seeing me as a stupid, foolish old woman, who fell for some con man or something. I don't know why he decided to cheat,...
- Yesterday I was feeling stronger--even had a few flashes of feeling normal (we're not up to feeling good yet). Today I've been lying awake in bed for the past 3 hours trying to make myself get on with it. Got up and fed the animals, and will need to...
- This is not my first traumatic breakup. I know the best thing for me to do is cut off all communication with him, nurture myself, gather support from my friends/family. Blocking his emails/calls/texts. I started with a new therapist today, got a...
- 3 days ago I broke up with my partner because he has been having an affair online. I first found out about this 3 mths ago, and he assured me it "just happened" and it didn't mean anything and assured me it was over. But (I don't know how stupid he...