I'm freaking out a bit right now. I had a session with my therapist tonight and we were talking about cyber affairs and why they happen and such. I've also done some reading on the subject and now I have this in my head: If I didn't look at his phone and find out about this woman, maybe we'd still be together.
I told my therapist that he wasn't actually physically invovled with this woman, it appeared to be purely an online fantasy thing. And she said that a lot of the cyber things are just that--fantasy. So maybe it didn't mean anything to him, and maybe if I never saw that message I wouldn't have been angry and hurt, and we wouldn;t have been fighting all the time. This happened toward the beginning of this thing with this woman--maybe it escalated with her because I was so freaked out about it. Maybe I ruined us. We were good together before this happened, and after that I just couldn't let it go. He told me it didn;t mean anything, and maybe at that point it didn't. But I was so hurt and angry about it. He kept telling me I needed to "stop this"--maybe I should have listened. Maybe I should have gone into therapy long before -- I had thought about it. Maybe WE should have gone into therapy. Maybe this could have been saved!
I am sitting here totally flipped out right now, and thinking of emailing him that I want to talk. At the same time I'm scared to death that if I did that he wouldn't respond. I've got myself thinking this is MY fault, and I'm sure some saner head out there can speak to that more rationally right now. I just want to talk to him so badly right now and I can't let myself contact him. Help
So, I've been spending more time with my old partner and things have been going well. For anyone who's sort of kept up with my journals, I cut off my AP about 3 weeks ago. So, I've been honest with my partner and I've told him almost all the things I've done/who I cheated with. He wanted me to be honest even though I hurt him. So, the other day I remembered I didnt tell him everything. There was...
My name is Brooke, I’m 23. And Chris is 41z we’ve been together 3 years and during the first year he cheated on me twice. I caught him on his phone. And when we started getting really addicted to heroin/fetanyl our sex drive went away. But now we’re clean and it’s coming back slowly. Now we don’t have to have sex but lately I’ve been feeling like he’s not even attracted to me...