Elandlu2
Status: 62 year old mom and grandmom. Trying to hold myself together
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I keep hearing and reading that you are not the same person after losing a child. Maybe this sounds stupid, but what changes? What if I don't like the person I become? How do I turn this horror into something even liveable? Right now I'm not sure I...
- I just came from an appt. with my therapist and I feel worse. I've been in bed the past few days, not wanting to do anything. This is the first time I've been out. It's too hot to be out. I hate everyone in my life today. I hate my daughter for...
- I had mentioned to my son the other day (on his birthday) that I wanted to do something special for Leslie's birthday (9/15) this year. I wasn't sure what, but I wanted to make sure it was remembered in some meaningful way. Jason said whatever I...
- I was supposed to be leaving for NJ today, but am just in no shape to drive right now. Been crying off and on all morning. Not even showered or dressed yet, much less packed and ready. Didn't sleep much last night. That doesn't help. Going to eat...
- Today was Leslie's memorial service. It wasn't as emotionally painful as I had feared (although 3 hours in heels .... ouch!). A lot of Leslie's friends and co-workers. Some old friends of hers came down from NJ, another friend who I'd never met...
- Leslie's obituary was in the local paper today.This morning I actually bought a newspaper (I usually read it online) to see the obituary. I wanted to keep a copy, and make a copy to send to Les' bio-dad.There she was, in the middle of page 4,...
- Woke up early this morning and tried going back to sleep. It's not going to happen. The pain is intense today. I don't want to do this. I want to call my daughter and have her say "Hey Mama, what's up?" I want to tell her I had a bad dream and...
- I had a long, pain-filled cry about Leslie this morning. Not that I haven't cried, many times, but my mind has been playing tricks with me. Or protecting me--depending on how you look at it.I've been depressed, angry, frightened--all sorts of...
- I'm not able to write about Leslie yet. Her best friend/roommate Buck asked if I thought I'd want to speak at the memorial, or, if I didn't feel up to that, write something. I'm not sure. I've tried and tried to write about Leslie--I never get very...
- I'm new here--I appreciate the message to join you.My 36 year old daughter died on 8/4. Today I made her funeral arrangements and saw her for the very last time (she will be cremated tomorrow). Today has been horrible for me. After I came home from...
- I had been told just over 2 weeks ago that she had end-stage liver disease (a result of her alcoholism, but not an important fact at the moment.) I had originally been told "up to a year", but her deterioration was so rapid. Every day something else...
- So my cheating ex-partner and I didn't communicate for a month. Then a few days ago I got an email from him. Friendly--he's going to Ireland for awhile, how am I? How's my daughter. "We'll never get over each other". We emailed back and for a few...
- All my experience says I should be feeling somewhat better by now. The pain shouldn't be so sharp, I shouldn't be crying everyday, I should start to resume "normal" actvities like watching tv, listening to music, taking a shower. I should be able to...
- All my experience says I should be feeling somewhat better by now. The pain shouldn't be so sharp, I shouldn't be crying everyday, I should start to resume "normal" actvities like watching tv, listening to music, taking a shower. I should be able to...
- I've been posting on the boards about breakups and infidelity for the past few weeks. But this is all tipping over into my depression, and I need to throw something out here. Without going into long detail, I recently had to end a relationship that...