Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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What's wrong with me?

Elandlu2
Elandlu2

I've been up for hours already, and it's only 7 am. Crying off and on, but mostly reading and thinking


I'm beginning to wonder if breaking off our relationship was the right thing to do. Should I have suggested that we go for counseling, or try and get through this? He just said that I'd never trust him again. That sounds to me like he doesn't even want to try. 


I just feel that now we have NO chance of ever getting back together. But then, why would I want to? This is the 2nd time he's done this to me, and I told him last time that if it happened again that was IT. No third chances. But there is a part of me that, if he showed up at my door would run into his arms and tell him how much I love him.


Guess I just need to be strong. Right now I don't want to be strong--I just want him to love me. 


Misred
Misred
Crying after a breakup is normal. Even if you are the one initiating. Its part of the grief process. There are several stages of grieving, some say 5 and I've heard some say seven. Here are 5

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

Take time to go through the process. Don't rush anything and do not date anyone otherwise you are just postponing the stages and will most likely cause problems in any new relationships.
OneDayAtATimeMyAss
OneDayAtATimeMyAss
You know in your heart you did the right thing because you know you deserve so much more! I hate this cliche but for lack of a better phrase - life goes on, whether we want it to or not. Cry it out, scream, then pick yourself up and do you! You got this, and you know you do because you did the hardest thing already - told him enough, you won't tolerate it. Step one complete. Step two, cry and let it out. Step 3 - time to start moving forward - yes? yes!
Osheana
Osheana
onedayatatimemyass -you spoke it like a pro --ELANDU2 you are right where you need to be.Much
love Hugs
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
I agree with Osheana. You are right where you need to be.

Now, it may be that you two are able to put it back together and reconcile. My wife and I separated for 2.5 years, and after a lot of counseling, tears, screaming, and listening, we were able to reconcile. But... Like I say, it took 2.5 years.

You simply cannot be in a relationship with the person that your husband is. If he changes, and proves himself, well then, you can reevaluate the situation then. Not until then.
sherril2291
sherril2291
My advice is to picture yourself 5 years from now - what do you want your life to look like? Do you want to be going through this same scenario still? I believe you know deep down that you made the right decision - don't start second guessing yourself now. Grieving is hard, being by yourself is hard, but if you have the willingness, you can work through this time and become a stronger, more confident version of yourself.