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Can I have more than one good day at a time?

Elandlu2
Elandlu2

I had a really good day yesterday. I felt energized -- in a good way -- not the "I'm mad as hell" way. Took the day off, went for a massage, did some shopping, signed up for an aerobics class, played with the kittens, cooked myself a real dinner. Was actually able to get him out of my mind for a few hours at a time. The only time I cried all day was at my therapy session. Then around bedtime the depression starting setting in.  I ended up having a lousy night, kept waking up. Dreampt about him. Woke up to the realization that he was gone. I feel like total crap now--don't want to get out of bed, feeling so empty inside. I miss him so much so--I'd give anything to be able to lie here and hold him again. Need to drag myself out of bed and do all the mindless garbage that makes up my day, and drag myself through life until, hopefully, I get another good day. He's the one who cheated--he's the one who was wrong. Why am I the one who's life feels like a total mess?

ifinallygetit
ifinallygetit
Hugs dear. No you are not the only one who is a mess. Your emotions are on a roller coaster right now so you will have those up and downs. It is perfectly normal. You threw you whole heart and soul into your relationship. You did nothing wrong. Always here if you need a friend
Barnabas2017
Barnabas2017
BEEN THERE Beautiful. I've so been there, several times. It hurts each and every time. Time will heal this and please keep doing things that build you up, strengthen you and encourage you. It won't be a good day every day but each day is gift and a chance for change. YOU will feel these feelings but press through them. That's the healthy part: feel them and keep going. The unhealthy part is not to walk through them and try to suppress them. Hopefully you have a close friend or family member that will just "listen" and not judge. Our inside thoughts are rarely true and valid as when we speak them aloud. Have you ever journaled? It is a good way to get those emotions out and a progress report on how you're either moving ahead or kind of stuck on the "would have/could have and should haves." A healthy amount of rest, work and social activity is good. Praying you'll move forward, getting stronger by the day!
Sunny45
Sunny45
Hugs to you. I’m right there with you. I find myself having more bad days than good.
I just try to get through one day at a time.
I wake up, give myself that pep talk to get out the door and make through a day at work. Then I have to come home and hold it together for my two kids.
It’s tough but just take one day at a time.
Calvin12
Calvin12
You are not alone, I'm going through the same thing, yesterday was ok, I felt a little upbeat - today I was depressed and did nothing (the constant rain did not help). I've had constant headaches. It's hard to sleep in the same bed that I shared with my wife - without her there is nothing but regret and loneliness. I have to take Ambien to fall asleep - and I often wake up with a panic attack, or waves of anxiety and depression, you can feel the waves like the waves on the beach. I know that the daily lows are normal and every day the low is better than the day before. It really does help to have a friend to talk to, a good friend (1000 miles away) calls me each and every day at 9am to check on me and have me talk about the previous day. I start counseling next Tuesday. My cats do help a bit. I you need to talk please feel free to message me.
Elandlu2
Elandlu2
Thanks everyone. You've been so nice....in my "real" life no one seems to understand what I'm going through. No one seems to get how much I hurt. No one understand the strength and willpower it takes just to get up in the morning, never mind get through the day. I am seeing a counselor--just started with her a couple of weeks ago and we're just starting to get down to talking about what happened. I'm hoping that helps. My friends/family--no one gets it. If anyone is available to talk I could use sharing with someone who understands
sherril2291
sherril2291
I'm here if you need to talk. I love what one of the other posters said, we mourn the "would haves/could haves/should have"...we mourn the end of a dream, what we thought the future held for us.
I think it's fabulous that you went out and pampered yourself in such a loving way! I remember in the past, during one of my breakups, when I hated seeing the sun and never wanted to listen to music - I wanted it to be dark and quiet, because the sunshine meant hope, and music makes me happy. It's like we deny ourselves the things we love when we're in pain, when in reality that's when we need the things we love the most!
One day I noticed the sunshine didn't hurt as much. I forced myself to turn on music, and I enjoyed it. Heart pain is real, but like other illnesses, it will heal if we take good care of ourselves, as you did yesterday. Be kind to yourself - I bet you're getting ready to turn a corner...