7 am--been awake since 4:30. The depression is lying on me like a wet blanket. Been crying off and on, but mostly just lying here feeling alone and miserable. Thinking of how you destroyed us. How you took my love, my dreams, our future and irreparably destroyed it over some stupid woman you've never even met. Or maybe you have met her by now. I don't know. I don't want to know. 

Trying to take solace in that, if you are with her, you'll probably just do the same thing to her eventually. 

Supposed to see my grandkids today. Cancelled this visit last weekend because I was too upset and kept crying at the drop of a hat--didn't want to scare my girls. Right now I just feel too tired and beaten up to move. Making excuses in my head--long drive, didn't sleep. 

Having pets helps. I have to get up sooner or later and feed them; take the dog for a walk. Right now the kittens are playing in my bedroom--almost as if they are trying to get me out of this funk. 

I don't get you. Why would you want to do this to us? Why would you not even fight to hang on to us. Did WE mean that little to you? 

We meant the world to me.

Oh well, get up--feed the animals. Try and take it from there.