I dont think its wrong to suggest methods to him but of course you know him best so go about as you see fitting good luck

Men are hardheaded. I had ED for almost 2 years and didn't do anything about it. Six months ago my wife (guessing she was fed up) made an appointment with a urologist and threatened to shoot me if I didn't go. LOL.
Now I'm doing Testosterone shots, taking Cialis and sex is wonderful again.

For the ladies out there, don't give up! Be persistent!

Best wishes

Thanks for all of the advice. I feel a little better than I did yesterday. I want to tread lightly on the subject because I can imagine how difficult it must've been for him to even admit this information to me. I suggested him researching, because he has not done that in the past. He was accepting of the situation(before me), and I care enough about him and our relationship that I'm not accepting it. BUT, will only push him as hard as he is willing to push himself.

He did mention last night that he would look into things, and would start to get some idea of where he should start to get some help.

I did discuss masturbation, porn, etc... with him. He tries to masturbate but is unable to finish and he no longer watches porn as it does obviously nothing for him. What I'm having a hard time comprehending... he can get hard. I've fondled/played with him so I know the blood flow/circulation whatever you want to call it, is there. He just can't finish, or is unable to stay erect for long periods of time... does that still sound like ED? I guess I should probably do some more research. I sincerely hope that he keeps his word and is going to look into this further for the sake of our relationship as well as his own happiness... I guess only time will tell whether he's as invested in this as I am. :-(

A blood test will show if he has low testosterone level which will cause low libido and ED issues. Even with testosterone hormone therapy may not solve the ED issue all together and that's where Viagra, Cialas or Levitra can help.

Sounds like he has my problem. A kind of semi ED. I can get erect to a certain extent but seem to lose it on IC. I much prefer foreplay just now. With me I think it is just age. My wife accepts it in her stride. The other night she asked me to lay on her which I did. I didn't attempt IC but just kinda rubbed until she O'd. She was grateful then brought me to climax another way. We don't want to mess around with pills etc. My health and fitness are still very good. Everyone is different. With us it is just aging, but we still have a lot of fun.

Hi Tony,

Have you tried L-Arginine? It increases the nitric oxide levels in the body and helps relax blood vessels. Results seems to be good in helping with mild ED issues.

I'm talking L-Arginine (mainly because I'm working out and weightlifting again) and with Cialis is like, wow.

Never heard of that. I will look into it. Thanks

I just wanted to say thank you to those who have posted. I too have an angry roommate, not a husband and have been through 17 years of hell. At first, it was excuses, then blaming me, now he takes his anger out mainly on any thing I say or do. I have gone from sympathy, caring and patient to hating him beyond belief as I somehow over time allowed myself to get sucked into his anger and ambivalence. I felt so alone. I didn't think anyone could understand. But I see I am not alone. That doesn't solve our problems, but at least I can understand where some of his anger comes from and try harder at not taking it personally. I'm working on focussing on other things so as to not give his impotence more power over my life than it deserves. For any wife reading this in a "newer" marriage: GET OUT ASAP! Over time, you will lose yourself, your cheerfulness, your abilty to have confidence in yourself; you will lose yourself and unconsciously blame yourself. You will stop laughing and joking. It is not you and you need to feel and recieve love. Get out get out. Do not believe the excuses, etc. I can't believe I actually (halfway) believed that it was because I laughed and joked in bed, or that I wasn't "mounting" him correctly or that I wasn't nice enough, or in the beginning that he couldn't get an erection cause he didn't believe in sex before marriage! Folks - passion, love, hate, none of those are the strongest emotion in the world DENIAL is! Thank you for helping me to see that I am not alone. Thank you so much.

Hi Sewlonely,

I'm very sorry to read about your predicament.

Us men can be so damn hardheaded at times.

When my wife made the appointment with a urologist for me I started researching ED and found this site. And I was surprised (more like naive) on how ED effected the women emotionally. And I really started to hurt even more realizing that I was also hurting my wife. I had to get it fixed ASAP!

Maybe it's time to show your husband these ED threads and the effect it has on wives. Sorry to say if that doesn't work maybe it's time to move on and find a partner that's loving and caring.

I've been with my husband 5 years (married for 3) and our semi-ED started off slow. I say "our" because he makes it seem like my problem and not his. He has been to regular doctors, no specialist and did finally agree to get Cialis. The Cialis would probably help if he would take them regularly and if he did not also drink alcohol. I'm almost 50 and he is 52 - and I am tired.

We do have IC 2-3 times per month of which normally only he reaches a conclusion.

All of that being said, I love my husband very much and I'm seeking other ways to help him. I want to talk to other people with these problems and maybe learn something.

Did your husband have blood test done? What was his testosterone level? Low T can lead to low libido. Also does is he on any meds? Under a lot of stress? Those are factors too. Another to bring up is he looking at porn?

Good questions there. I have semi ED. I put it down to old age as I keep very fit and don't do anything that would contribute to it.. Drink can affect it. Depends on quantity of course. A little doesn't hurt but getting drunk would obviously be out.

I am still enjoying sex but suspect that my wife needs more than I am giving. I still have to get around to ordering the L-Arginine Bubbabiker. Kind of put it off. I suppose I have an inbuilt barrier against what seems phoney kind of aids to produce something which should be natural. Cialis and the rest have not been proved long term as to what the side effects might be.

Oh my goodness Tony, you could be my partner speaking. This has really hit a nerve with me!

'Semi' ED caused by ageing? Iisn't that like being 'a bit pregnant' lmao? Unwilling to pay for something that 'should' be natural and not sure of the possible long term effects of ED meds - maybe not as devastating as the long term effects on a sexually unfulfilled marriage? I assume you've been anti contraception all through your marriage then?

You say you suspect your wife needs more than you are giving but that you're still enjoying sex! Well, that's OK then isn't it! As long as you're happy!

So I guess you haven't actually had a conversation about this yet. She hasn't actually told you how she feels? When my SO first told me he 'sometimes has a problem' (understatement, but probably all his ego can accept - he won't even admit to 'semi-ED'!) I was the supportive partner and read up on it, joined these groups etc in an effort to understand and cope, and found out what a devastating thing this is for a man. So I flattered his efforts, gently encouraged, and hid my bitter disappointment and unfulfilled hopes for our relationship as all the advice said positive attitudes brought better results. I sent links to ED info on his pc and found out the costs of the pills which he asked me to do. Just to keep me busy and off his back! Like you he never got round to doing anything about it as they seem 'phoney'. What a fool I was!

Eventually I broke down in tears, told him how I felt and waited for HIS support. He got angry and shouted, saying he doesn't need this pressure and why do I always have to make an issue of it? Always? Like 3 times in 3 years! So I said I get it, we deal with it on our own! OK! So now I don't cast around for something to help any more. I'm not spending another penny on gadgets to get or hold blood in! I've done enough! I'm tired!

I accept now that he's still enjoying sex (or his version of it) and that he probably suspects I need more than he gives me! Lol!

I wish I'd had the nerve to just stand four square in front of him and hold a banner up saying OI MATE, YOU'RE NOT UP TO THE JOB! GET IT SORTED! as soon as he started dithering!

Your wife may be more than happy with what you can do but please don't risk putting her through this....get those pills now - it really does matter :-)

Tony,

I've been on Cialis daily (5mg) for several months now and haven't had or noticed any side effects, other than getting erections.

At least try it.

Honey54,

I wouldn't blame you one bit if you find someone on the side to take care of your needs. You gave your husband every chance in the world to correct his issues with your support.

I was the same way, had ED for almost two years. My wife put her foot down and schedule an appointment for me with a urologist. Then she threatened to shoot me if I didn't go. LOL. Probably the best thing I ever did.