nikkole

I sit outside writing in a journal anything that comes to mind.   In the corner of the wooden deck, dried leaves caught in a spider web jitter in the wind.  The twitching motion brings to mind...

I was at mom's yesterday with many of my cousins celebrating Easter.   Everything went pitch perfect.  No one said anything rude - people seemed to maintain boundaries, mom stayed a clear distance...

I haven't had much luck getting in contact with my new EMDR therapist.  We only meet once every two weeks and usually either i'm out of town or she is out of town or something usually comes up....

I became a math person to impress the dad.  I work in a mostly male dominated industry that I hate. Between work, and therapy and the kid - i often feel  overwhelmed, like today.  If it was up to...

My meditation.  I think of the sound that is constantly in my ears and  the tingling in my hands.  both are the snake who is  my protector who is my fear.  From no where comes a  memory. A...

I believe this entry may be triggering.  I'm unclear of when to use the trigger warning (if anyone wants to comment on that , it would be good).  I can get triggered at any time and the typical...

I was at the women's march in DC with my neice.  I meet up with 4 other women and we,  along with a half a million other women - marched.  It was, in a word - awesome!  The days following the...

IN yesterdays mediation, while I was trying to talk to Elly (5th grade) and let her know that she doesn't deserve the overwhelming guilt that she feels. that it belongs on the shoulders of the...

A friend gave me a bracelet for xmas that has "rise up" engraved on it.  I immediately thought of Maya angelou and her poem on rising up. I found this...

In todays meditation, my younger self  (Belle) was walking hand in hand with  my older self.  Surrounding my older self was swirling whirls of warmth that glowed and extended thru her hands. I...

It's very difficult to meditate - specifically it's difficult to focus inward.  My mind is constantly wandering off.   I can't tell if i'm dissociating  - or what.   During the moments I could...

In last nights meditation, the only thing that came to mind is a feeling - getting closer and closer.  I felt like I kept trying to get out of a jar and then being stuffed back into the glass jar...

Meditating has been difficult lately.  I sit and I’m distracted by so many things- losing weight to look good in a dress I ordered that I plan to wear at xmas.  buying presents for friends,...

Both in my meditation practice and in EMDR, imagary plays an important part.  I've heard that people tend to recall things in very different ways.  Smell.  Touch.  feeling.  For me, it sometimes...

when I was a freshman in highschool, the dad cheated and then married a waitress that worked at the diner my parents owned.  Lets call this waitress Storm.  Storm is 3 or 4 years older than myself....