Another bad weekend so far. I am overeating and not getting anything done that I wanted to. I am feeling hopeless. I am reminding  myself that it is ok to feel what I am feeling and that things will eventually get done.
I have been watching a lot of Netflix. Some shows have been good but I am getting bored.  It's not just the boredom but the sex that is in shows is bothering me. It just makes me so uncomfortable.  I don't see sex as an act of love. Even if it is portrayed in a loving way it repulses me. I don't understand why people want to touch each other. I don't understand why women would want to be touched by a man. I understand orgasms. I just don't understand why anyone would want to be that close. What do they feel that I don't feel? What do I feel that others don't?
Sometimes I wish I was more "girly" than I am. I guess I look kind of girly . Fat...but girly. I don't have that girly attitude though. I am not a delicate flower...even personality wise.. Yeah.....some days I think I would be happier if I had a dick.
On a side note: Today I got distracted and forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. Now I have slightly clumpy but really soft hair.
I think I will drag myself away from the movie and the internet and clean the bathroom....at 10pm