Andelene

For some unknown reason I'm not receiving any FMO notifications. I go to this site, from time to time, and check my notifications for messages, hugs and journal posts. That's why I reply late. Sorry...

Last night I received a very personal message from Colleen, through my sister Gerda. The message was, "Mom, just get over it!" Gerda said that Colleen was very adement about it, this message was not...

I am back at home, with Melany and Lee-Ann, permanently. My last 2 jobs did not work out at all, because I just wasn't good enough. Maybe it is life telling me to stop doing and just to be?We need...

The more time passes since Colleen's passing, the more I hurt inside!! What pushes me down the most, is watching how people in crisis or pain around me, are being pampered and supported, but my whole...

The old man, whom I took care of, passed away in January, and my job there ended. Two weeks later my previous employer phoned me about a new job with friends of theirs. I immediately contacted the...

I am in a see of inner pain. Everyone here are very familiar with this feeling, I know. I am not looking for sympathy, just need to get this out of my system. Truth is, I am drowning!!I hate this...

I have suffered from depression all my life, and lately I get anxiety attacks also. The doctor gave me meds, and told me to try and make peace with Colleen's passing. He was very understanding and...

Once again God made the impossible possible in our lives!! My older daughter, Melany, had a sad and rough life since the age of 16. She could not finish school, and battled to find a desent job....

I have been deeply depressed since December, and as always, I am slowly starting to win this battle. The main reason for my depression is all the pain and hurting inside me, mostly caused by my...

It has been 3 1/2 years since my Colleen left this life. But tonight I miss her so strongly, so very much!! I think back and remember the last time we spoke to each other, in ICU, just before they...

I got a horrible Christmas this year!! I have shingles. It started 10 days ago, and I am still in pain! Have been to doctor twice, and got antibiotics and lots of pain meds. Obviously I can't work...

My brother-in-law's youngest grandson passed away and was buried on Friday. The little boy was 3. Unfortunately I could not attend the funeral, so the little boy's father sent me a video clip of the...

Reading Joanie's and Gina's last journals, brought a light to the darkest corner of my heart! Many years ago, before I had my children, I attempted suicide a few times. Then, years later, when my...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, about who I am now, and my "place" in this life. I used to be Colleen's mommy and caregiver, and the two of us were such a strong team! But now it is just...

Dealing with Colleen's passing is still very painful for me, but dealing with horrible people's attitudes suck!!! My family was never a part of Colleen's life, and after her passing they act as if...