I feel happy.
The old man, whom I took care of, passed away in January, and my job there ended. Two weeks later my previous employer phoned me about a new job with friends of theirs. I immediately contacted the people, and started my new job a few days later! What a huge blessing!
For the first time in many years I feel happy! I found my new goal in this life, and it makes me feel really good! I see my new life as a tribute to my life with Colleen. What she taught me, I can now use to help others. And I get paid to do it. With the money I help my daughter and granddaughter. Wow, what a fullfilling way to live!
Although I am happy, I also have this heavy sadness inside me, because I miss my precious Colleen very much. I never thought it could be possible to carry both happiness and great sadness in my heart, but they are both part of my new life now. Each has its own place.
Oneday, when Colleen and I meet again, we'll have so much to talk about!
Replies
So understand, Andelene...it is wonderful when you can honor your child in this way. What a blessing you are.
(((((HUGS)))))
AnnM
I am so happy and glad for you. Hugs, Paula
May you continue to be in God's favor an reap the benefits of happiness during times of struggle.
All our blessings are tinged with sadness because we can't share it with our angels. I know Lisa is with me but I so miss the conversations and hugs.
Love and hugs to you and precious Colleen from Marlene and precious Lisa
Oh, this makes my heart SO very happy dearest Andelene. You have found your niché in life and I have no doubt you are using all that you have learned with your precious Colleen and paying it forward in abundance.
Yes, what a reunion it will BE with our children one day and I know our children are our greatest cheerleaders and they understand our hearts deeply.
Thank you for sharing where you are finding yourself today, in this moment as I have thought of you and wondered how everything was feeling for you. Woo HOO for happiness being able to nudge itself into our BEings along with the heartache too.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart with love from Douglas and me to Colleen and YOU!
XO Joanie
Andelene, how wonderful that you have found work that you enjoy and where you can bring your skills to the table. I'm sure you are a blessing to the folks you work with. The devotion you bring to the individuals that you work with is such a lovely way to honor Colleen.
You and Colleen will definitely have a lot to talk about once you are reunited.
It is amazing to me how sadness and joy can coexist as we travel on this journey. Always missing our kids but yet receiving happiness at the same time. So many layers...
Love to you and dearest Colleen, Linda
I just loved reading this journal! What a gift it is for all of us, and especially those wondering if it's even possible to carry great joy and great sadness. YES! Yes, it is!
I think it's remarkable really how some things just come together. Through the difficulties and challenges we face in life, we can learn SO much which will help us in our recovery and "next step" of the journey of life. It makes sense that you are using all Colleen taught you to help others in the ways that you do. Blessed they are to have you....and blessed you are to have them.
I am just SO happy to hear the "happy" in your journal!!
Continued joy for you dear friend~
Teri
I am truly happy that you have found what makes you happy! Your journal is heart warming and like Teri said, "I hear the happy" - Hugs to Colleen's mom.
You honor Colleen each and every day with your work. Blessings and peace reign as you have such a higher purpose. It is so wonderful to be able to give in this way. Hugs, Kathy