Just venting.
My brother-in-law's youngest grandson passed away and was buried on Friday. The little boy was 3. Unfortunately I could not attend the funeral, so the little boy's father sent me a video clip of the funeral. As I watched it, I re-lived Colleen's passing and funeral all over again, and it left me in tears. As I sat there, trying to pull myself together (because I was on duty, caring for the old man), the old lady confronted me head-on with gossip stories which the other woman, (who also works here), had said about me. I explained my side of the story, and it seems that all is okay again. But this just shattered me completely! I've been crying most of the day. Why still bother reaching out and helping people? What's the damn use??
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Oh Andelene. This business called "living" is so exhausting, isn't it? I am sending my condolences to your family now dealing with (another) devastating loss. Watching the video must've been so painful for you...
Your work environment sounds like so many. The few who do what they can to stir up the shit that doesn't need to be stirred. I am so sorry. Working in a very toxic environment too, I struggle to remind myself the reason (and only reason) for me being there. I have bills to pay. I am very good at what I do, and believe that you as well are very good at your job. Having so few coping skills since my son Jason's death (just a few months before Colleen) makes even the smallest of conflicts a struggle for me (and you?) to endure.
Hang in there. Remind yourself why you are there. One of my favorite sayings that I repeat to myself often is "Not my circus, not my monkeys" but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt probably us more than others.
Tight hugs my friend. I am so sorry you are faced with this issue (work) and the loss of another baby...
xoxo Merrilee
You had an emotional breakdown and it was NOT the time to pile on with the gossip and the talk about you. People work together are going to talk. They are going to get tired, frustrated, etc., and say things thy really don't mean and don't want the other person to know about. The person that runs around from one person to the other telling what was said is just stirring up trouble. I have said things in the heat of the moment I didn't really mean, I was just tired...but somehow the subject to my anger at the moment found out and I gave a legitimate apology and reason and it was all worked out. But I have no respect for the gossips that try to pull info out of you to turn around and give it to another...they are addicted to drama and chaos and must put themselves in the middle of it to be involved and feel important. I am SOOOO glad at times like these that I no longer work!.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with people @ work who really don't have a clue and just like to stir up "poop" and then walk away.....I have a tough outer shell because of it - it's the only protection I have sometimes, (if I want to keep my job)....
I have found that since losing Jennifer, my coping skills/emotions are different now. Funerals hit me harder, loss hits me harder, and watching a video of another precious child who is no longer on this earth is devastating to our hearts which are already so tender. I am so sorry you are hurting.. ((((hugs)))) Vicki
Funerals do bring up so much, I know. I always tend to sit towards the very back so if I need to make a dash for it I can. I'm never quite sure how I'll be?? So sorry about family loss and oh, how they do bring up our precious children.
Now, in terms of the other woman who is care taking the old man, she just sounds jealous to me. What good is it to pass along such idle and useless chatter??? Oy! You just keep on keeping on and hold your head high and don't allow these old biddies to get in your way!!! As we say here, we have our can of whoop ass ready and will send it your way if needed.
You take care my friend and sending you lots of love and light,
XO Joanie
So sorry Andelene. I so understand your feelings. I do wish people would not gossip. It is totally unprofessional to be telling stories to the clients. If she has something to say, she should say it to you.
Wishing you peace.
Love and hugs to you and your precious Colleen