thamotivator

This past few days have been very weird.  I Blew up and lost my temper a few nights ago with Sarah.  I personally feel that she is trying to take the children away from me.  She still will not...

Today has just been a very draining day.  I went to see my children at my in laws house today.  I really didn't want to, because of the past there.  Everytime Sarah leaves me, she runs home and...

I sit here going crazy in my mind.  I know the problems i have caused.  For the first time in my life, i turly recognize what i have done.  I am writing this down, because it is a loss that i have...

i was supposed to see my children today, but after last night, i didnt want to.  i feel like her family hates me and always have.  They treat me like crap and always have. I have tried to explained...

Well, as I wrote earlier, I spoke with Sarah earlier.  it was not a good conversation.  as I sit here at work, I thought a lot about what Sarah has said.  She told me that I am still the same...

I spoke with sarah again today this evening. She was not happy.  I just dont get it anymore.  I am trying so friggen hard, and she still is acting crazy.  I asked her on wed if it was ok that i...

Well, i got to see my sons tonight! was very happy to see them!  I got to actually see sarah and speak with her for a few minutes.  She looked very beautiful, as usual.  She is very cute, as she...

These past few days have been pretty good.  I spoke with Sarah yesterday, as i wrote about. Today i spoke with her for a little bit longer.  I spoke with my mother in law also about my children...

I spoke with Sarah today on the phone.  it was not a good conversation. She still does not feel that the marriage is fixable.  I feel so horrible, because i felt the pain in her.  I felt the pain...

Today was just awful.  i couldnt focus on anything.  i am so scared lately.  Losing my wife and kids hurts the worst.  Still cannot find a job to save my life.  I need one NOW.  I was texting...

I am going so crazy today.  I want to speak with sarah so badly.  I know that i am tired and just stir crazy, but i feel that this is killing me.  She still hasnt said anything to me either text,...

I know that i have not wrote any journal entriesl about any ptsd issues lately.  I have been going crazy lately about this divorce issue looming over my head.  today i do want to talk about this...

Well, I went to my downstairs neighbors house to have fun and decorate stockings.  It was very fun, but halfway through it, I had to step outside and cry.  I couldn't stop.  all I could think...

Well, as usual, i am very confused still.  I keep running thoughts through my head, like; "why did she leave like she normally does, arent you supposed to stay for better or for worse?" or "Does she...

I got to see my family today, my wife and two sons.  Sarah didn't even sit at the same table as us, but I did get to see her beautiful face.  She looked sad and hurt.  I know that look, and...