JourneymanProject1

Okay, so I was slow bumping that last entry down...of course, yesterday I was cranky and totally gone because my sleep pattern has been so busted up lately......but anyway, here's something...

(WARNING: Very graphic story being referred to here.  If you don't like those, please ignore this because I plan to bump this down one later.)Dear DS diary,Last night was horrific....there was no...

Dear DS diary,A particular friend of mine here -- who I will leave unnamed for what I hope is her sake -- is not having some difficult moments right now.  I gave her some hugs and some sympathy....

Dear DS diary,I guess I should have seen this one coming.  I was overdue for another panic-induced meltdown, and it happened to come today.Some days I can fight these meltdowns off until I can get...

Tomorrow is US Independence Day.  It will be a quiet one at my house.  My parents are having a couple of friends over, and all I will be asked to do is light the barbecue so they can have some...

Dear DS diary,My sister successfully closed the sale on her new house the other day.  She wanted us to see it yesterday, so we went and saw the place.  It's actually not bad at all -- although I...

Dear DS diary,As far as managing the stress that I feel, I have effectively reached a breaking point.  The last two days have had avoidance episodes by the buckets, and it gets worse at night.  It...

Dear DS diary,The monsters are continuing to torment me when I try to shut down at night...(sigh)...they mock me.  My voices -- and a friend -- are trying to convince me that I'm amazing and can do...

Yesterday my diploma from community college came in the mail, since I felt far far too uncomfortable going to the commencement exercises proper.It says I graduated with high honors...which is...

Dear DS diary,I finally slept through the night last night...but only because I was essentially mentally and emotionally exhausted.  Tonight is not looking like it will be a encore.  In fact it...

Dear DS diary,This morning it finally happened, and I was teetering on the edge of it yesterday.  I have finally had enough nights of difficulty falling asleep in a row that for all intents and...

Dear DS diary,The effects of my doctor doing nothing about my panic episodes is wasting no time rearing its ugly head.  He only offered basic stuff about increasing physical activity and the like....

Dear DS diary,The doctor's appointment I had been hoping would lead me to some kind of suggestion for my panic has...basically been for naught.  All I got out of it was some basic suggestions on how...

Dear DS diary,Are you sure there isn't a setting on the mood meter below "horrible"?It's bad enough that I have no confidence in my ability to finish what I started (why should I have any confidence...

Dear DS diary,Today I had my initial appointment with the career center.  I basically conceded that I had very little confidence, if any, in my resume.  Fortunately for me, the counselor basically...