Yesterday my diploma from community college came in the mail, since I felt far far too uncomfortable going to the commencement exercises proper.
It says I graduated with high honors...which is triggering flashbacks which is turning into a daymare (as opposed to a nightmare, and yes, it's an actual word, meaning distress while awake). I'm having flashbacks of every single episode I had in community college that left me thanking my lucky stars time and time again. To name a few of them:
* Watching The Town for my college writing class, throwing up twice, basically wanting to burn the rental copy I had afterwards (I didn't), remembering almost nothing about it because it was supposed to be part of a movie review assignment (no, I had no choice on what film). But enough classes were wiped out by snowstorms that semester that it became a practice throw-away for the final instead, which saved my ass on that one.
* My entire chemistry class in general. ScaredandScarred was a big help (I thought I should mention that because she was), but help came also from the fact that the professor appeared to be not of this planet. I didn't convert a single lab because I couldn't get along with anyone, and I should have been penalized heavily for that. I wasn't.
* And honestly, I really should have flunked my family law class that same semester because I never ever came close to getting caught up there. Instead the professor (who was aware that I was not able to find a tutor I was comfortable with) gave me an I and a shot at passing if I could catch up on the eight homework assignments I missed. I did that in a week and a half, she gave me a B- for it...that I just don't feel I deserved.
I guess maybe I earned honors, but I can't say I earned high honors, in my view, legitimately. And it's calling into question, again, if I'm really capable of pushing this any farther, and as usual for me, I'm really not sure that I can.
It says I graduated with high honors...which is triggering flashbacks which is turning into a daymare (as opposed to a nightmare, and yes, it's an actual word, meaning distress while awake). I'm having flashbacks of every single episode I had in community college that left me thanking my lucky stars time and time again. To name a few of them:
* Watching The Town for my college writing class, throwing up twice, basically wanting to burn the rental copy I had afterwards (I didn't), remembering almost nothing about it because it was supposed to be part of a movie review assignment (no, I had no choice on what film). But enough classes were wiped out by snowstorms that semester that it became a practice throw-away for the final instead, which saved my ass on that one.
* My entire chemistry class in general. ScaredandScarred was a big help (I thought I should mention that because she was), but help came also from the fact that the professor appeared to be not of this planet. I didn't convert a single lab because I couldn't get along with anyone, and I should have been penalized heavily for that. I wasn't.
* And honestly, I really should have flunked my family law class that same semester because I never ever came close to getting caught up there. Instead the professor (who was aware that I was not able to find a tutor I was comfortable with) gave me an I and a shot at passing if I could catch up on the eight homework assignments I missed. I did that in a week and a half, she gave me a B- for it...that I just don't feel I deserved.
I guess maybe I earned honors, but I can't say I earned high honors, in my view, legitimately. And it's calling into question, again, if I'm really capable of pushing this any farther, and as usual for me, I'm really not sure that I can.
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