Dear DS diary,
The doctor's appointment I had been hoping would lead me to some kind of suggestion for my panic has...basically been for naught.  All I got out of it was some basic suggestions on how I could increase my energy level, but he did absolutely nothing for the panic that is keeping me up at night.  My mother minced no words in telling him as we left that he did not go far enough. 
I will have to start over now.  The panic is so bad and my sleep pattern so disrupted by it that my plans are now effectively on hold until I can get a hold of ideas that actually sound intelligent in my current condition.  It would appear that I may have to put what amounts to a vent post on the depression boards and hope that it somehow mines gold.
One of my colleagues has asked me to fill in for her Saturday at work.  I have no problem with doing that -- she's been good to me and offers occasional huggles besides -- but right now I'm in "anything to avoid" mode, which basically translates to running.  Again.