SophiasMom2010
Status: the hardest thing in life is being able to love after every heartbreak
Mood:
Ok
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- Sometimes when i'm just sitting in class or watching tv, i start having flashbacks. Like vivid pictures of the day i lost Sophia, or her funeral. But mainly when i was wrapped in a sheet screaming over the phone that they couldn't find a heartbeat....
- Why is it that it seems to take us so long to even recover from losing our Angels? Everyone tells us to get over it. Even one of my most patient friends told me that there's a time when i'm going to have to "move on" and i know its true. I can''t...
- I almost bought a little teddy this weekend for Sophia's first Valentines Day, but it wasn't holding a rose like i wanted. Also its very windy/rainy in Portland this time of year, and i don't want it to blow away from her headstone, or for the...
- It was a blood clotting disorder. My doctor said that a blood clot must have gotten into the umbilical cord and killed her. I waited for 5 months to know what happened and it doesn't help at all. But i need your help sisters... I don't know what to...
- I was reading the March of Dimes website earlier and it make me think... How many of you do or do not know what happened to your baby? And how many women here are going to try again within a year?
- Ok ladies, we all know we have a playlist somewhere on our computers or ipods for our angels. Most likely the songs are incredibly sad, but its just us here so its ok. I wanted to post up a few songs that remind me of Sophia, and i hope you do the...
- It has been almost 5 months and i cannot believe that my little baby girl is really gone. What i really want is to be able to talk about her with my boyfriend so we can help each other get through the worst parts.But its like whenever i say her name...
- I signed up for all kinds of coupons and baby magazine and free samples while i was pregnant. After i lost Sophia it was so traumatic just checking my mail that i actually stopped doing that. Whenever i had to i would look at all that wasted stuff...
- I've been in denial. I want a baby. I'm so tired of watching every one around me being blessed with babies while my arms are empty. I had a pregnancy scare this month and it brought up so many emotions that really hurt me. But the problem is that...
- My new years resolution is to love myself ... despite what i consider my failures... and to help all of you no matter what it takes. I'm having a very rough week. if anyone wants someone to just talk to or vent to msg me.
- Someone very close to me is having a baby. She told me she was pregnant a few weeks after i lost Sophia, she was actually about 5 weeks when i was in the hospital. I was jealous and sad and hurt that God could put so many babies everywhere i look....
- I've been thinking about getting pregnant again after losing my baby Sophia in September, but I'm not as anxious to get pregnant as i was right after we lost her. This is mainly because I'm terrified of it happening again, and because being pregnant...
- I miss my baby all the time. I want to touch her little toes again and kiss her all over her pretty little face. Today is the first day of my first year without her, and the first new year that i should have had with her. She should be almost 4...
- I've been to AA before. I'm not sure that i'm ready to quit. But last nite i got wasted and embarrassed myself infront of my boyfriends family who i barely know. I have a lump o my head and i was told i puked all over their toilet. I didn't mean to...
- I forgot to post after christmas because of all the craziness... but i meant to tell you all how much you have influenced and helped me through this last month. O my way to see Sophia on christmas i was feeling so bad about everything, and watching...