Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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SophiasMom2010 02/12/2011

Sometimes when i'm just sitting in class or watching tv, i start having flashbacks. Like vivid pictures of the day i lost Sophia, or her funeral. But mainly when i was wrapped in a sheet screaming over the phone that they couldn't find a heartbeat. Sometimes it makes me cry, and it always gives me panic attacks.

And i have vivid nightmares and random things can trigger so many good memories that are now painful to think of, like ultrasounds, or awful memories that are worse. And the nightmares are getting more frequent and painful. I can't be the only one. or is this like a sign of PTSD, should i tell my doctor? HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOURS?

deleted_user 02/12/2011

I have flashbacks...and panic attacks...but the nightmares are the worst though...very vivid and i sometimes actually wake up looking for Bella and then bawling my eyes out when i reality struck and i realized she's never going to be here when i wake :( Im to the point im terrified to sleep...im up till 3-4-5 in the morning because i dont want to close my eyes because im afraid ill have a nightmare...I dont know if these are signs of PTSD...im pretty sure they are but my doc said they were normal...he has put me on zoloft for depression (and now ive went from 4-5 panic attacks a day to 1-2) and nerve medication to help me sleep at night...i still dont get to sleep till late...but when the meds finally kick in i dont have nightmares...i would mention your symptoms to your doc and maybe he can prescribe you something to help...HUGS..............................Annie

deleted_user 02/12/2011

I have them as well, and of the exact same thing. The vision of them not finding a heart beat plays over and over. Nightmares of me looking at my baby just wishing he would wake up, tapping him and still not able to get him to wake. I do eventually go to sleep but it takes forever. I have been having panic attacks, which I have never had before. I am nervous and shakey about everything, especailly things regarding my other children. I have noticed also that I am getting really rippy about petty stuff too. I am on a low dose of Wellbutrin but I think I'm going to unfortuantly have to have it upped.

deleted_user 02/12/2011

I get the same. It's horrible, and can take over.
I try distracting myself, I've been reading alot, watching a lot of movies.

Yes, those symptoms are indicative of PTSD. Common symptoms.
Panic attacks are no fun!

I actually already had ptsd before my bub died, so I was well familiar with the symptoms, and had dealt with panic attacks and violent nightmares for years.
I was diagnosed years ago (with ptsd), and went to a couple of years of counselling and was on meds. (I found the counselling more useful than the meds, and don't believe that meds on their own is the answer).

I learnt good tools on how to deal with the panic attacks. It really helps knowing about the physiological reactions that happen in your body. Even if you can't stop the flashbacks from coming, you can learn to deal with your reactions to them.

So if you haven't told your Dr, or aren't getting counselling, give it a go.
The Dr will probably just write you a script for meds. But I want to emphasise- meds on their own are less effective. Truly, counselling is the key. It's a partnership thing.

deleted_user 02/12/2011

I agree with you on the counseling, it feels so good to get things off my chest. My husband even goes with me once in a while.

deleted_user 02/13/2011

I also have the flashbacks and nightmares. I never have a problem falling asleep, but I wake up at 3 in the morning after a nightmare and I can't go back to sleep. I went to my dr and they put me in a room to wait with an ultrasound machine and I had a panic attack in the office. I was trying to get by without medication - but my sister, who is a Pharmacist, suggested I ask my dr for zoloft to help with my moods.

AngelBunnyDanniJo 02/14/2011

I still have nightmares. Not as often as I did..but once a week at least. I still stay up too late. I also am so super sensitive...American Idol has made me cry. I find if I watch anything where someone passes away or is in a hospital tends to trigger nightmares. Also anytime I visit someone in a hospital, sadly it just throws my sleeping mind into nightmare central. I don't take medicine of any sort so medication is not an option for me and I can't tell you anything about it. I have one very close girlfriend that is my free counselor. She has three kids and one miscarriage....but she truly understands. Talking to her face to face and knowing that she genuinely gets it helps. When I started to talk to her I suddenly felt less anxious and could sleep at least the nights I talked with her. I also began praying myself to sleep. I don't know what your faith is, but it helps sometimes. I just lay here and ask God to bless and watch over everything....family, friends,animals,people I drove by, people that are hurting, everyone at DS...u get my point. Everything I can think of until I'm asleep. I sleep better when I'm not alone too. We actually just bought a pet bunny so its here with me Incase he's working late or I want to nap I'm not alone. Those are a few things I've tried. Talking seems to be the best. Whether its to God or a friend..not bottling things up worked. I'm not saying it fully cured me...but going from everyday where I was actually afraid to Go to sleep to one day isn't bad.
I am praying for you tonight. I wish for you to find inner peace and sound sleep soon. I will ask my DanniJo to watch over you and everyone here suffering with these awful nightmares. Things will get easier for all of us I hope.
I love all of you ...you're all beautiful!
God bless and sweet dreams

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