Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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SophiasMom2010 02/02/2011

It has been almost 5 months and i cannot believe that my little baby girl is really gone. What i really want is to be able to talk about her with my boyfriend so we can help each other get through the worst parts.

But its like whenever i say her name its like i just cursed in church it gets so quiet and he looks away from me. I know he loves me and that he loves Sophia and that he is in a lot of pain over what happened to her, but sometimes i just want to talk about her, or hear her name. My therapist told me a few months back that i need to let him mourn on his own and not push him, but i still wish that we could even speak her name in what was supposed to be her home too!

Basically i'm feeling like i'm the only one who remembers her. And i'm feeling like something is wrong with me for thinking of her constantly when no one else even wants to say her name.

Anyone else feeling like this?

deleted_user 02/02/2011

It is ok to feel the way you feel but your therapist is right. Everyone grieves differently and as much as you need to understand that it can be very frustrating. I think talking about everything helps but some people like to hold it all inside which has been proven in the long run is not good. Maybe ask your boyfriend if he would like to chose a night that you can both sit down and talk about how you both feel and about Sophia. Maybe order some takeout and have a mini date at home.
If he is not ready that is ok too.. Take a breath and say ok. Do not get frustrated. Give it some time and ask again in a few weeks. Don't feel alone. There are alot of wonderful people on here and we all know that you will never forget Sophia.. It's ok : )

deleted_user 02/02/2011

Feeling alone is a scary place to be, we understand. My husband does not say Evelyn's name or talk about her but I know he thinks about her. My son, Donny (12 yrs. old) did not remember being at Evelyn's funeral. He was confused and uncertain about what happened to Evelyn and felt scared to talk it about.

Over time I have learned that if I want Mickey and Donny to talk about Evelyn I have to engage them. Continue to talk about Sophia and use her name often around family and friends. There are many ways a person deals with losing a child. Some want to verbally express their thoughts often while others keep their thoughts silent.

We remember her.

Love,
Tammy
evelynrosefoundation.org

nasnye 02/02/2011

I FELT VERY ALONE UNTIL I MET THE ANGEL MOMMIES HERE. NOW I HAVE NOT ONLY THE MOMMIES BUT OUR ANGELS IN MY HEART.

MEN GRIEVE MUCH DIFFERENTLY THAN WE DO. I USUALLY WAIT UNTIL MY HUBBY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ANNAYA TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT HER.

I'VE FOUND OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT HER WITH.
HUGS!!
N.

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