JessicaChase
Status: RIP sister!
Mood:
Ok
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- Have you ever experience something good; like a positive out come for something you worked hard for? Or perhaps, encouraging words spoken to you from someone, but that just feels like an electric shock? Or come to an understanding on how to take...
- I cut my finger on an egg shell today. Bizzar ha? Well, it just triggered my desire to cut and bleed. This is always the issue for me when I bleed for some reason or another. Now I'm fearful to go to sleep. Once I'm in bed the desire gets harder to...
- You know that feeling you get sometimes when you feel desperately empty just to feel you hurt yourself. Well, that's how I feel tonight. It's been a difficult change in my life this week. I had to cancel one of my therapy sessions, because I cannot...
- Wow I forgot to take my anxiety meds all day yesterday and today and now I'm having such a panic attack and seriously want to hurt myself, but the pharmacy is closed. I hate when I do things like this cause it takes me a few days to get feeling...
- I keep hearing a child screaming for her mother in my head. I also feel like I'm being burned. I think it's one of my children, but I do not understand what's happening. It's like the air is hurting me. I cannot figure out if it's a flashback or a...
- Somethings changed. I've been a compulsive over eater for 20 years, but now I cannot eat. It's been since july 10th that I can hardly keep food down or even decide what to eat. I cannot make a choice. I'm wondering if this has to do with some of my...
- I hate my mother. She ruled my life in such manipulative ways that several of my personalities are petrified of her, but she's dead now. Yet, her voice lingers. I have a personality that was her abusive, neglectful, shameful, overpowering evil...
- My relationship with Mom and self injury. I know there is a connection there, but its not just one issue. Often when I self injure there is a part of me that is trying to get even with her by harming my self. I know it sounds twisted, but its true....
- Does anybody else really hate there mother? I have several personalities that are so afraid of her. There are others who would like to smack her around for every lie, exaggeration, manipulation, conniving, cruel, selfish, narcissistic,...
- I want to die. This life has messed me up and I do not know how to take care of myself. I really want to die!
- I hate food! All my life food has been a tormentor to me. The first part of my life I was anorexic and exercised 24/7 (Ballet dancer). After kids I over ate and had a daily battle with Should I eat? Should I eat that? Why did I eat that? Ok Ill just...
- I am so frustrated! I suffer with several different psychiatric problems, but I am a compulsive over eater and I cannot find a treatment center that takes Medicare? I really need help, because I am deliberately eating junk to hurt myself. I suffer...
- Should I be concerned? I would have never imagined harming myself the way I do now in my life.The thing that is so disturbing is I am no longer devastated by my actions.This dysfunction is so insidious. My mind thinks it's no big deal, but some how...
- "The only way we begin to act as a true force of healing in the lives of others is when, at last, we cease to hurt ourselves."By Guy Finely
- This post is a bit lengthy, but I felt a desperate need to get it out and be able to understand all aspects of suicide! For the sake of those who do not read my journal I am posting this on other groups. This time of year there is a very high rate...