Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Does anybody else really hate there mother? I have several personalities that are so afraid of her. There are others who would like to smack her around for every lie, exaggeration, manipulation, conniving, cruel, selfish, narcissistic, disrespectful, domineering, demanding, provocative, prideful, shame throwing, verbal rage, physical abuse, disrespectful of boundaries, a sense of entitlement, whats hers is hers and whats mine is hers, guilt flinging, Italian Gestapo, thief, favoritism, not a nurturing bone in her body, neglectful, hypocrite, lazy, arrogant, self centered, phony, pitiful, know it all bitch and she died that way! This is all true and not an exaggeration. Yet, she still torments me in my head and I feel guilt, shame, and a lack of loyalty for saying all this. I wish God gave me a good Mother. I dont know what it is like to be embraced and loved unconditionally, except with my own children. My mother was an example of how not to be as a mother. The result of that is...I have two very loving, kind and successful young adults who are mentally and emotionally stable and we respect and love one another. Thank you God!
anger is "A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility"
hatred is " extreme dislike or antipathy or aversion "
Though some consider hatred and anger to be similar. To me the hatred was such that I felt nothing at all for my mother, only the desire to avoid her. I felt rage at my father because we had been close but he betrayed me, so I still had feelings and cared and was hurt. My mother just kind of was always out there somewhere and I couldn't be disappointed cuz I didn't expect anything.
I'm glad you have done a better job as a mother than your mother did with you.
Now that I'm past it.. I can more let it go and be in the past. I can learn better things to do and move on, finally.
Wow, it's so strange for me to think it's really past,, but I guess that means all of it, not just the active abuse but all the repercussions, the lingering effects,
and to feel my real core waking up, like from a coma. But I have a lot of catching up to do.
There is a book, "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden". Have you heard of it? I read it a long time ago. I think that child guidance shrink recommended it. I remember this girl went through a lot with her mental illness, and she got better. I think she was in the hospital and she was gonna get discharged. and her therapist was giving her some last words of wisdom.. that life would not be perfect but that she could deal with it.. Roses have thorns.
You feel how you feel. She's dead. You can do what you like, yeah?
Hate and bitterness require a lot of negative energy, and I just can't afford to get into that. I'd rather get into positive energy and move forward with my life as best I can.