Lola694

Just when i thought i was able to run with the horses and ride that beautiful wave, here i go getting depressed again.  The hope that i still have is that I believe this time my Pdoc. may be on the...

Nothing more to say than what i said yesterday....

The past two days i have actually felt alive and well.it scares the shit out of me at the same time because there have been a few days at a time ive felt ok to good and then I come crashing down.Have...

had to self medicate again today with my "beans" (percs.).almost dont even care about it anymore cuz it gets me thru the day.I dont use them when i am feeling fine but when there is instant...

Not even numb today which is a shame.ill take it over the depression any day.Where is some mania when i need some.not that its healthy but i need a lift and dont want to self-medicate once again.ive...

The next time i park in a spot that is marked for people who are handicapped and a police officer begins to write me a ticket for no handicapped plate,I will say..."I am hanicapped,i'm PSYCHOTIC!!!"

Wow!!!Today I am actually better than nothing.....

Better today but,not to be negative, it's probably just a fleeting feeling.Just as i start to feel ok, i come crashing down once again.Cant look forward to much of anything these days b/c of this...

Today is hubby's birthday.i feel as though i really have to strain myself to be happy for this occassion. might have to self-med again today but at this point,as long as it's not with booze,i really...

I guess I'll write another JE even tho no comments were made on the last one.kinda sad about it but how can i possibly have comments made when i have been on here sooo inconsistently as of late.Today...

first day i have felt somewhat "normal" in about 8 months..i refuse to jinx myself so I'll TRY to live for the moment and enjoy the time i have right now.really, what else is there??????

well...same as yesterday.shitty once again.I've got nothing left to say...

i am nothing more than a shell that is just existing today.BAD BAD BAD times for me right now.dont know what else to do but CRY CRY CRY and i cant even help myself. shit!!!shit!!! shit!!!what is this...

It's time to say it loud and say it proud....I just celebrated my two year aniversary of being sober.well, at least a non-drinker because complete sobriety would include no reefer smoking, no...

"I'm pushing chemicals that are rushing thru my bloodstream!!!!!!!"  david grey once again