Today is hubby's birthday.i feel as though i really have to strain myself to be happy for this occassion. might have to self-med again today but at this point,as long as it's not with booze,i really dont give a shit anymore.it brings me major relief,so i do it.hopefully i can paint on a smile,so to speak in order to get thru this day.too many people coming for cake tonight.just cant be social when i feel like something that the cat dragged in. HA!!!!!Wow i actually laughed at myself here for a minute.....more to come later!!!Thanks everyone for all of your support!!! where would i be without DS some days!!!
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Put on that happy face and crack yourself up, even if you have to pretend to say one thing then think another visually!I think you may benefit from Eckart Tolle. go to oprah.com and watch some of the recent broadcast,this last one was great!
you know, how you\'re feeling right now is completely normal for people like us. the booze gave us that confidence, love, everything we needed so when the alcohol is taken away we have to learn alllll over again how to be social sober, how to talk to people, how to simply hold a 5 minute conversation (took me about 6 months haha). everyone goes through it when getting sober. and you are doin the right thing by trying to find something that will make you extra comfortable in order to learn socializing buttt.. self medicating? i don\'t know what youre doin and its not my business but just please be careful!! that kinda raises a concern as a fellow alcoholic/addict. the self medicating is what got us in this position in the first place, so if we were to keep doing it, its just gonna get worse and worse and worse. jus be careful hun, i wouldnt want you to have to go through that pain again. cause i love you!
and i completely identify with that socializing part when you feel like shit. there\'d be times i\'d be at a sober party, or with a bunch of people laughing talking and all of a sudden that type of mood would set in. but ive learned just cause im at a social gathering doesnt mean i have to socialize. when i\'m in those moods and at a social gathering, i like to kinda stay behind the scenes. just kinda relax on the couch, maybe stick with the one person i can tolerate, stuff like that. but i like to be somewhere i can watch everyone else having fun, laughing, smiling, joking around. it gets me out of myself and my head for that moment. then i\'ll start smiling because seeing others happy makes me happy and eventually i come out of my mood.
or fake it till you make it! jus pretend youre a social person. pretend youre that person at the party youve always wanted to be. and be it.
i hope the night goes okay! sorry this comment was so long.. i guess i have more to say than i thought! lol.
xoxo
oh boy, do I know what u mean by ur firt paragraph...painting on a \"Fuckin\' Happy Face\" bites, big time!!!!! (just do what I do, hide in the bedroom and tell everyone ur sick with swine-flu or something....no ONE will want to get near you...hehe) xo!
thanks everyone for the helpful comments in my journal.Nicole,yours wasnt too long, it was VERY helpful.you guys rock and rule!!!thanks again.lola***
here if ya need me
Hey enjoy that special day with hubby he needs you 2 be happy!!!! TTYL hun