Missinglisa

It has been a bit of an emotional day today.  I went out for lunch with two friends who knew Lisa well, Lorraine and Darlene.  Darlene drove and dropped us off and went to park the car.  While she...

I wrote a long, thoughtful journal at 3 am.  I posted it and it disappeared in to cyberspace.  I have had a fairly gentle week.  Joe is in Anaheim with Andrew.  He drove him around LA to...

I woke up smiling this morning.  Lisa and I had a visit in my dream.  We laughed and reminisced.  I knew she was gone and just back for a short visit but we had a good time.  This is only the...

I am in Edmonton visiting our son, DIL and Joe's sister.  It has been a bit of a downer.  Joe's sister is visibly weaker and has lost more weight.  She does not absorb the nutrients from food. ...

I have been watching the devastation caused by tornadoes.  My prayers for the moms in those areas  - I hope all are safe.  

I used to wake up in the middle of the night quite often but have slept quite soundly since Lisa died (once I got to sleep).  Well this is one of those nights.  I woke up at 2:30 and could not fall...

It is sort of a green smiley.  I have had a reflective week - mostly because for 3 days the weather was snowy, windy and cold. So what to smile about? Two things:1. I am trying to get fit again. ...

Overall it has been a better week for me.  I still have my weepy spells when I miss Lisa more than ever. A very dear friend came for an overnight visit on Friday (she lives about 100 miles...

I am feeling a lot better than yesterday.  I was still antsy this morning and teary eyed.  I should be exercising more but have no energy.  So I decided to meditate (I have not done that lately...

I guess I am still stressed after the wedding.  I just wanted to cry today.  At noon I had a panic attack.  I had to take Ativan for the first time in months.  I just have this feeling of dread.I...

I am starting to come out of the black hole.  I am just tired now.  Cevyn is back home - I spoke with her today - getting back in to the routine of calling her after school daily.  We tend to have...

I wish I could say I was having a green smiley Monday but it is not to be.  I have been in tears for most of the day.  My granddaughter was supposed to come over to spend an hour or so with my son...

My granddaughter now has a stepmother.  I was able to get through the wedding with only one meltdown - during the first dance.  I could see Lisa and Harvey during their first dance.  Harvey needed...

I have registered for the retreat.  I am so excited!  It will be wonderful to meet you all in person.  It has given us something to focus on other than the wedding.  We are planning our route as...

So it is Monday again; less than a week until the wedding.  Although I dread the whole wedding thing, I am excited that I will be seeing my granddaughter Cevyn on Wednesday!I have been struggling...