Green Smiley Monday
Overall it has been a better week for me. I still have my weepy spells when I miss Lisa more than ever.
A very dear friend came for an overnight visit on Friday (she lives about 100 miles North). We had a good visit on Friday and went to a flea market on Saturday. I found some candle holders that are very similar to the ones that I bought Lisa - her last Christmas gift - the one she never got to open.
We met in Thunder Bay (my hometown) the summer before she died. It became a bit of a tradition to go to Finnport, a little Finnish gift store that we love - everything in it is imported from Finland. We went as usual and admired the overpriced, but beautiful items. Lisa saw the candlesticks and wanted to buy them but she felt they were too expensive. After she left, I bought them for her. They were wrapped at the shop and ready for her for Christmas. She died on the first of December. The ones at the flea market were $10. I don't think they are the genuine article but close enough. They are on the shelf with Lisa and her angels. I think it was Lisa telling me that she got the candle holders and wanted me to have some too. Now I need to find the right candles.
I am worried about Joe. The wedding was hard for me - I cry and complain to my friends and get it out. Joe holds it all in and gets upset and worried when I cry and complain. We went for a walk today and had a bit of a talk. He is depressed but really unable to express it. He didn't disagree when I said that I believed that I was not totally responsible for his down mood but he could not express what was causing it. I am quite sure he is struggling with the wedding too and also worried about his sister. He knows she does not have much longer to live.
Joe is better when he has stuff to do. He is booked to go to California with our son Andrew on the 13th of March. Andrew has a comic con in Anaheim and is going to LA to meet with his manager, agent and hopefully some people who will buy a screenplay. I am hoping that some father/son time will be good for both of them. The change of scenery will also be good for him (not to mention the sunshine).
So it is the usual one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I am looking forward to the retreat.
My sweet Lisa: I miss you more than I can say. I love the candle holders and will fill them with candles and light them for you.
A very dear friend came for an overnight visit on Friday (she lives about 100 miles North). We had a good visit on Friday and went to a flea market on Saturday. I found some candle holders that are very similar to the ones that I bought Lisa - her last Christmas gift - the one she never got to open.
We met in Thunder Bay (my hometown) the summer before she died. It became a bit of a tradition to go to Finnport, a little Finnish gift store that we love - everything in it is imported from Finland. We went as usual and admired the overpriced, but beautiful items. Lisa saw the candlesticks and wanted to buy them but she felt they were too expensive. After she left, I bought them for her. They were wrapped at the shop and ready for her for Christmas. She died on the first of December. The ones at the flea market were $10. I don't think they are the genuine article but close enough. They are on the shelf with Lisa and her angels. I think it was Lisa telling me that she got the candle holders and wanted me to have some too. Now I need to find the right candles.
I am worried about Joe. The wedding was hard for me - I cry and complain to my friends and get it out. Joe holds it all in and gets upset and worried when I cry and complain. We went for a walk today and had a bit of a talk. He is depressed but really unable to express it. He didn't disagree when I said that I believed that I was not totally responsible for his down mood but he could not express what was causing it. I am quite sure he is struggling with the wedding too and also worried about his sister. He knows she does not have much longer to live.
Joe is better when he has stuff to do. He is booked to go to California with our son Andrew on the 13th of March. Andrew has a comic con in Anaheim and is going to LA to meet with his manager, agent and hopefully some people who will buy a screenplay. I am hoping that some father/son time will be good for both of them. The change of scenery will also be good for him (not to mention the sunshine).
So it is the usual one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I am looking forward to the retreat.
My sweet Lisa: I miss you more than I can say. I love the candle holders and will fill them with candles and light them for you.
Replies
The candle sticks are a terrific way to honor Lisa. I find wonderful ways, seemingly out of the blue, to honor my husband. It is such a joy.
Great about Joe heading here to California to be busy with his son. The two of them will have some healing time perhaps.
Also, great about the retreat!!! Share pics if you can. :-)
((hugs)) and good thoughts shared.
:-) Patricia
Good to hear the week has been a bit easier for you and that you enjoyed hanging out with your friend. I love Finnish artistry. I know the candlesticks are simple, elegant and beautiful. How wonderful that Lisa gave you a little nudge to get some for yourself!
Rick also gets upset when I break down in front of him so I try not to, though that\'s obviously not always possible. Men feel such a burden of responsibility and need to know that they have the power to really help those they love ~ which, of course, is not possible when we are grieving the loss of a child! I do think going to CA with Andrew will give Joe a sense of purpose and really doing something of consequence with Andrew. Hope Andrew sells his screen play!
Yep ~ one foot in front of the other ~ on we go ~
Sending lots of love and big hugs of moving along ~ Debbie
So glad your week improved and you\'re doing OK...one step at a time. Love that you found candlesticks similar to the ones you\'d bought Lisa. I think you\'re right...she was letting you know she knew about them and wanted you to have some too. Thinking this way makes my heart not hurt so badly, so I welcome the idea! Thanks Lisa!
A nice walk with hubby, talking, even if just a little, sounds so wonderful. I think you\'re right on this point too....some father/son time in sunny LA will be good for both of them. I\'m looking forward to hearing the good news soon. Much luck to your talented son!
Can\'t wait to meet you at the retreat!! WooHoo! Love you sweet friend!
Sounds like you found just the right gift for yourself at the right time. I know they have beautiful candles that look like they never go down usually in beautiful colors like gold, silver and special metalic colors, I do not remember where to get them but they would make your candle sticks prould.
Hugs Penny
Each of you grieving in your own way and then coming together even if it\'s just snippets along the way the communication is there. I think of my relationship with my husband as a figure eight. We each go out into our circles to do our individual healing and then come back into the middle where we can meet as a collective unit and couple. It feels as if this is what Joe and you are doing as well. One foot in front of the other and some days so much better than others that is for certain.
Loving care to you and yes, your emotional selves have taken quite a hit with the wedding and to honor however that manifests becomes the work along the way.
Thank you for your sharing and hope the trip for your husband and son is a bonding time.
Love and hugs, Joanie
That was so sweet of you, Marlene, to buy the gift that Lisa had admired and so sad that she wasn\'t able to receive them. But she knows all about them now, as you say! I also had some Christmas gifts that the kids never received and how that had pained me so, early on. Now I realize that not only are they aware of those gifts--but they\'ve been given now \"THE ULTIMATE GIFT\"--eternal life with their best forever friend (BFF) JESUS!
Just like your Lisa!
I\'m hoping your hubby will be able to vent his pain...you\'re so right--keeping it inside is not helpful it is very hurtful...not only to them but to those around them the get \"the aftershocks\"...Love and Hugs, Donna