jfulk
Status: It's like I can feel the chemicals shifting in my brain. :(
Mood:
Bad
Offline
- I can't post this stuff on my social media. I don't have the desire to get into particulars, nor would I have the strength if I wanted to, but I'm so tired. I'm drained. I'm disappointed and I'm not the person I want to be or think I can be. I see...
- Last Monday, my pdoc rose my Lamictal from 50 to 75mg a day. I know that's not a huge dose, but I've been having upset stomach all week, and increasing fatigue. Today, I am wiped, with no energy whatsoever. I'm also a little short of breath. Does...
- I hate. I feel the hate inside me. It's a terrible feeling. I hate everything at the moment. I'm angry and so incredibly depressed. If I didn't feel such a strong obligation to other people, I might kill myself and put myself out of my misery. It's...
- Hello all. As usual, I'm here when I need to type and air things out to people that I know have an understanding. I am BP2 and it has been well-managed for years. Part of my struggles are that depression is triggered easily if routine changes, and...
- Here it is again. Another holiday where I feel depressed, but can say nothing to anyone. My wife and I have a new baby and I promised I would try to be happy during the holidays. But of course, I can't control it. I've been sick and that didn't...
- You can almost set your freaking watch by it. I hate this! HATE it!! I want to be a normal person and love the holidays. I love my family and have so many reasons to be happy! But as is the case every year for the last 10 or so...I am sinking into...
- I am down. I want to get on Facebook and let it all out. I don't know why I think that's a therapeutic solution, because I know it's not. Because I have a job where I must be mindful of the things I say publicly. So I come here instead.I'm down and...
- I've got a pdoc appointment Thursday. I didn't like the side effects of Risperdal, which I've been on for about a month. I don't knew what I'm going to get on, but I can feel that I need something. Anyone know of a good med that has no sexual side...
- Hello everyone. I posted last month largely as a means of journaling. The downturn I experienced lasted about 4 days and began to subside a bit. I coasted through the first part of December feeling fair, but generally not wonderful. I'm BP2 and I'm...
- Every year starting about now...I cycle down. I don't want it to...But it happens anyway. My step son is going to have a brain tumor removed soon and I need to be 100% for my wife. I need to be clear and optimistic. How am I going to do this?
- I'm typing, because I don't know what else to do. Typing this is hopefully going to make me feel better. I tend to get awful seasonal depression. I am a devout Catholic Christian and try hard to keep the season in perspective, but I have three kids...
- I am so sad. I want to type it all out, but this is the only place I can do that. My wife is depressed and taking it out on me and that is what is making me so depressed. I can't stand this and it's driving me crazy.
- I am very tired of being strong! I just want out... I am supposed to be strong for everyone around me and I just want to ignore them and be very very selfish! This is a big problem and I don't quite know what to do. I feel like a terrible person and...
- Well folks, I posted the other day about the problems my wife is having. It turns out that she has an addiction to prescription medication that she's been hiding from me. She has been taking my Xanax (which I rarely take) and apparently has...
- Here it is...I feel it ramping up. Dark thoughts, racing pulse, anxiety and a numbness all over. Bring on the depression. :(And no...I don't need a med tweak.