Hi jfulk. You have a lot of stress and obligations in your life. People relieve stress in a lot of different ways, and is quite common for men to express it as anger/hate. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress, but I'm not sure if you would have the time you seem so busy. Is there anyone who can help your wife and/or take care of your child for a while until things settle down? You need self-care. You can't take care of others unless you care for yourself 1st. Try to gently express how you are feeling to those who need to know and that you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. Self-care is not selfish, it is essential for your physical and mental well-being as it is for everyone. Try to delegate some of your tasks. Find time for yourself each day, even if it's just stopping at Starbucks on the way home to unwind. Please don't give up. I wish I could help more, but it's impossible to know someone's full situation, supports, and resources etc. It took me a long time to understand my husband's need to have a break from his responsibilities, but I finally do and I respect it, and we have more open and honest communication now. Best wishes XO

My wife feels horrible that she is unable to help me. I have no brothers and sisters. My 13 year old son is very helpful and I am grateful that he is so willing.

But there's no one to delegate to really. It's me... Alone. This will get better, but it'll just happen again at some point I'm sure. I can't deal with all of it. My life doesn't feel meaningful at all.

I have the same problem right now. Big hugs.

You have unresolved anger. It is building up and getting too dangerous levels. It would be best if you release this anger. I would find some way to do that without hurting someone. Can you go outside and yell till you are or horse. Can you beat the snot out of a pillow? You are getting to the point where you won't deliver the best care for your relatives and work. Good luck. Being BP is also tough. I have that, and I have a lot of responsibilities also. I want to cycle and end up inpatient much time, but that is impractical.

I note that you do not have any siblings. But does your wife have any siblings or friends or other relatives that could help a bit? I'm glad your son is so willing to help :-).

Wow, you do have a lot going on! Is there no one who can help in some way, or be the one who listens to you or encourages you at least? Do you have a counselor? If you can't afford one, many churches offer it free. Also, support groups or systems like a church or something to be alongside you and help in any way they can. Also, take care of you, for you and for others. Take a good multi vitamin and extra Magnesium to calm your mind body and spirit. Also, ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop so you can at least sleep well, which is very helpful. Almond milk for little ones is great if they can't chew almonds yet. chocolate almonds go a long way with the wife to make her feel loved and calm her anxiety. Praying for you in this too. <3 You matter too.

Remember that if you were on a plane and it was about to crash you would have to put your oxygeen mask first and then you would put the mask on a family member .Your have to take care of yourself first. It sounds that you are holding your wife, son and parents , but who holds you? I would be beneficial for your mental health if you think of way to make self care happen. Make it happen!
warm hugs,

It's nice to see you jfluk.... I'm sorry that you're struggling right now.... I think a lot of people are

The world is in a difficult way and will be for some time....

It's imperative thought that you take care of you first.... You can't give away that which you don't have to give.... Big hug....xo